She didn't go to Harvard. She did, however, get a certificate from the OPM program that runs on the Harvard campus. It's a pay-for class, not a Harvard Business School program.

So don't read it. So simple.

"Is it really BETTER THAN PULP FICTION?"

This is my favorite thing RE the cake vs. pie debate.

You go girl! Maybe even make some notes in advance so you know what you want to say!

Jesus Christ! YOUR MOM IS EVIL!!!!!!

Leaving aside all judgment on promiscuity and health concerns, I just feel like this is an awful lot of work for one measly little drink.

Then your name is very fitting.

What if I told you that not everyone has the luxury of being selective about who employs them? WHAT THEN.

Does she fart when she sneezes? Because I have this one friend who is DEFINITELY NOT ME who does that a lot.

My dog farts rhythmically as he runs up the stairs.

My step son showed me a text message exchange of his with the girl he's now dating (they weren't at the time). I read through it, stop, and say, "Dude, you're being creepy. You're not funny. It's creepy. Stop it."

He was stunned. "But that's how my friends all talk to each other."
Me: "Your friends are idiots. Even you…

The best answer I heard for that kind of invitation : "I need to invoice you for the surcharge as you booked only for one. And the surcharge for not telling us when you booked." And then she doubled the rent. When the guy howled for the manager she smiled and told him she was the manager.

I disagree. This could've happened to anyone. Unfortunately it happened to this family. This wasn't murder. This was negligence. Prison or not, this guy's life is ruined.

That sure is some red red watermelon they're eating. So fleshy.

Mark, you fucking owed this to us.

THIS DOESN'T MAKE UP FOR THE STORY WHICH SHALL NOT BE NAMED, MARK.