Rob Gronkowski says he couldn’t sleep for weeks after a fairly routine hit in the Super Bowl

I know where he is coming from, I got a charlie horse the other day, and despite the pain and my body screaming at me to stop, I kept at it and finished that bucket of chicken.

When even Gronk is smart enough to retire, it’s hard to hold a grudge against Andrew Luck

Rolled my eyes so hard I saw my own brain.

I just re-joined Twitter like a month ago after a multi-year absence, and barely use it, but this whole situation has delighted me to no end.

“I want to buy Greenland.”

you can’t buy people anymore.

Trump was very disappointed to find that you can’t buy people anymore.

President apparently.

“Don’t use this chokehold on suspects, because it could kill the suspect.”

In what other job could you commit a serious violation of policy that leads to someone’s death and expect to not be fired?

I see. It’s Hollywood that’s making Cops look bad.

Wait, is $40 too much or not enough for a haircut?

Claw is the law, bub. 

White Claw is the new Zima don’t @ me. 

She’s an object of scorn because she keeps saying stupid shit.

You see, THESE tropes aren’t anti-Semitic, because he learned them from Stephen Miller and Ben Shapiro, so it’s not nearly as bad as the time Ilhan Omar referenced the hook to a rap song.

Definitely misdirection. All the inflammatory crazy shit he does is misdirection. I hate giving him credit for anything, but he really is good at starting new fires to distract from existing ones. Then again, maybe he is truly just a deranged lunatic and I’m fucking delusional for trying to ascribe a method to the…

Classic Trump. Buy a chunk of real estate with borrowed money (in this case, taxpayers), slap his name on it, fuck it up, walk away leaving everyone\anyone else holding the flaming bag of dogshit, once again proclaim himself as the greatest dealmaker in the universe.