Agreed, I was attacked in public (punched) by a stranger. It stayed with me for a long time.

One time I opened the mail of an ex roommate who had moved and never came to pick up mail because it contained a free sample of chocolate and I am NOT SORRY.

I think Kim should share how she was able to get out of zip ties wrapped with tape. It would be a helpful survivor’s tale.

Given the smoke and mirrors involved in the making of the Kardashian brand, or any reality show, it’s not really an asshole comment.

My kid’s been a hellion for days. Husband put a cardigan on her today and I swear even her hair was calmer. Tiny librarian.

I don’t think it even needs to imply anything, just hang there. Because it’s true, and kind of funny, and also sad. If you were going to describe Trump to someone who’s been living on an island for 40 years, you might say, “Well, he’s the type of guy who likes to hang around beauty pageants.” It would not be a…

I am so happy the Megyn Kelly thing was on here, because goddamn was it perfect. And Kara perfectly summed up my feelings for Megyn- 99% of the time she is terrible, horrible, no-good, and very bad. But that other 1% is when she does things like this, and I can’t help but love her. Also, this:

I just laughed so loud at this, I scared the cats.

Sorry, I know I shouldn’t engage in hat-shaming.

I hope his family has shunned him for wearing this hat, if nothing else.

Everyone talked about it. In a bizarrely excited way. Until it was pointed out repeatedly and definitively that there is no possible way to fit Brad Pitt into the timeline established by the blind item unless he used a time machine.

I doubt that. If she had any intention of getting a quiet divorce, she would not have had her people call tabloids trashing Brad. I can’t respect anybody famous who has so much disrespect for her kids to put them through that kind of shit show.

If that’s the case, they’re doing a terrible job. I’ve flown hundreds of times and have not once been saved by a flight attendant. I have had a lot of drinks served by them tho.

For those of us old enough to remember phone books it was a given that the people who only listed their first initials were women.

This reaction is exactly why they released a still frame instead of the entire video.

What is wrong with these conservative guys? My first year boyfriend lived next door to one. He used to put his ear up the door to try to listen to us getting it on, and would urgently invite in others on the floor to do this. One small problem: I was a virgin the whole time, and no idea what he THOUGHT he was…

Oh man, the roommate Troubles are just getting started.

Partly because he is white. Can you imagine if a black or brown was going around sexually assaulting white women anyone would be laughing it off?

I did that too...but I’m a dipshit and parked MY car blocks away so she wouldn’t know I was near by. What I didn’t realize is that I had accidentally locked my own keys in my car. So when I was done laughing at her face she got an even better chance to laugh at mine when I realized I was stranded and locked out of my…

You know, I’ve had it with you people that don’t respect Kit Kats...