Made me think of this “Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy” from SNL back in the day

Brain
Endures
Neglect?
Gaijin
Has
Achieved
Zenlike
Inspiration

Two of my favorites: red jelly doughnuts and Jaqen H’ghar.

So did Pablo Escobar.

so much Depends

A man has been given a second chance. There will not be a third.

If you think your life has been long enough, yeah. It wouldn’t have taken much to change the trajectory of that car so that it would have barreled into the people recording.

Truly!

All that time to prepare for the big moment and we still get vertical video? They should have been arrested too.

Kevonte took that L but didn’t bounce back

I love BlueQ. I’m wearing my “Bitches get stuff done” socks today because I needed to feel badass.

“Oh, you could care less? How much less precisely?” <- me forever

A speedy self-correction on the shade vs. read distinction. Shade court must be making a difference!

Shade is sly. Its really that simple. But Shade Court is great bc Kara’s hilarious.

People on Judge Judy do this all the time, for some reason. “Well, when she borrowed me the money, she said...” And then Judy has a fit and corrects them. “She LENT you the money, not borrow! Lent!”

Okay, thank you. I was wondering if, “...so one spoon more than I use to cook prettty much anything?” was a weird thing to think after reading that.

I have become a shade wanker. I must say “that’s not shade” at least once a week (i’m looking at you, Cosmo UK)

My mid-thirties white male friend posted on Facebook a few weeks ago about how apparently dissing people is now called shade, hahaha kids these days AMIRITE?! And I had to correct him and then admit that I (as a mid-thirties white woman) am not nearly skilled enough to really explain it but he should read Shade Court…

I work for a pizza place and cordially invite that gym to suck it. PIZZA FOREVER.