I hate to sound like I’m an apologist for Rome, but my understanding of their theology is that the central act of worship is worship, not being culturally relevant. There are plenty of other times and places to be culturally relevant and judging by their numbers seem to be doing just that. If you look at the mainline…

You got paid? I was an alter boy for years, and I never got so much as a hand job.

Well, *that* escalated quickly.

No good deed shall go unpunished. Pope Hilarius (465)

Hoverboarding is also really hard and if you’re over 30 and can do it without injuring yourself or others, you probably are a saint and should be honored thusly.

Oh, so Jesus is allowed to walk on water but priests aren’t allowed to hover? It is one rule for the Son of God and redeemer of mankind, and quite another for the rest of us.

This is funny and stupid, but also, as (an admittedly completely lapsed and non-believing) Catholic, I can understand why the Diocese didn’t appreciate this. Catholic services are solemn affairs, deeply embedded in tradition. This is kind of like wearing a clown nose to Mass.

Something I’ve found incredibly hilarious is now I get called a feminist/lesbian/cunt/whore because I’ve chosen to not to fuck anyone anymore. Men take that shit real personal.

Im a flaming feminist (so I’m a frigid bitch that *must* hate men) and I’m fat (so obviously no men want me, right?) but I’ve caught so much dick that’s so much better than any sad wee MRA could offer. My refusal to fuck them makes me this Feminazi Cuntadactyl that must be stopped.

What is it about us that makes people so mad?

For Hillary, her trump card is Trump himself.

“Sure, but you’ve got nothing but a deck of clown cards, so I’m not worried.”

Clearly Trumpo is playing an orange dick card.

I dunno, it sounds to me like he’s playing the “man card” with that tweet.
Hey, Donald: I ran a half-marathon and did 500 crunches yesterday. I challenge you to a push-up competition; let’s see which one of us has the most strength and stamina.

—Signed, just another old woman

“Damn right I got a licence for this vagina. Got my card right here.”

I hope Donald gets schlonged right in the mouth.

This is all funny, but one of the most absurd is Trump saying HRC doesn’t have “strength/stamina.”