It’s not sex, but I have an Al Roker is a douchebag story. I’ve told it several times on kinja. Can’t tell if I should tell it one more time.

Oh no please never Lester Holt. I love him too, he’s next generation Tom Brokaw to me (please never Tom either).

I would be sad if I heard something like that about Al or Lester Holt (I love Lester for some reason).

Keanu.

I see Roker more as a “mind if I masturbate on the houseplant” douche over the rapey kind.

Hey guys!

Sorry for having insulted you.

This is why most new money never becomes old money.

It matters because no matter your politics, you don’t want the government to have the power to censor speech in public fora like a state university. I don’t want Sessions’ DOJ telling me what views deserve to be heard in public, state-sponsored spaces and which should be content with speaking in private spaces like…

But the safety concerns, in large part, were based on how opponents would react to him speaking. By your logic, if I disagree with a speaker, all I need to do is get some friends, threaten violence and then speaker should be shut down?

Because your instinctual brain tells you that it is one dropped platter away from becoming a gravity-powered femoral-artery-based death machine.

Likewise. I mean we’re just normal folks and this is our table:

Very golden girls though, so there’s that.

Who are these rude-ass people you work with!

Everyone knows love is best measured in the dollar amounts corresponding to birthday gifts

I absolutely deplore glass tables and other furniture.. Not sure why.

i’ve been told “congratulations” and “when are you due?” more than a few times (including when I wasn’t fat). it’s super depressing

I’m amazed DJ Khaled could.

Spike Lee angrily tweets out Tim Burton’s home address

I feel his pain. My name is Harold Winestain.