Starred for the smoke break at 6k.

I don’t know when my dad was able to teach Russ that stare, but he has got it down.

My wife and I are having our first in a couple months. Anytime someone says anything close to “do you think you’re ready”, I tell them that we have a dog, so we have a pretty good idea of what we’re doing. Literally as I was typing this, my uncle just asked me if I was prepared to change diapers. Told him that we’re…

We went to a class for our first one, and they went around the room asking each couple about their birth plan. Most of them were “We’re going to try to go natural” with a few “We’re using a midwife in home and going natural”.

People’s Exhibit B: Val Venis.

Does he think porn is real?

Whatever you think of his take, you have to acknowledge that Bill Simmons’s history definitely gives him a position to criticize a person for trying to lure talent away from another organization to join his own.

Here’s a cold take: go fuck yourself.

I deserved that.

I wish I could properly express my gratitude for all the love and support I got from friends and family and colleagues and many of you over the past couple of months, but I don’t know if I have the ability to do so. I haven’t even fully processed all of that love yet, and I may never finish

I bet these will be as popular as Taco Bell’s “fourth meal” campaign of 10 years ago

I bet these will be as popular as Taco Bell’s “fourth meal” campaign of 10 years ago

Unfortunately the sobriety test they used was the Wonderlic exam.

I think what annoys me more is they (like my parents and millions of other Americans) can only be convinced to vote based on their taxes and nothing else important. 

This is why we’d have been much better off with the Saints in this game. Tom Benson was an asshole, but at least he has the courtesy to be dead.

counterpoint: snitches get stitches

OMG THERE’S A BUG IN FACETIME! EVERYBODY PANIC! DISABLE FACETIME! NO! IT’S TOO LATE FOR THAT! JUST THROW YOUR IPHONE IN THE RIVER OMG IT’S THE END OF ALL THINGS!

“That’s a nice cup, but it’s not as good as this cup”

Ja Rule is essentially just a wedding singer version of DMX.

Matthew Vaughn’s grimy, under-appreciated Kick Ass