I speak fluent toddler, cause I got it all.

Jezebel really needs to make it easier to report trolls.

I feel like you can't perform in Cabaret on broadway and toss around gay slurs in the same night.

I understand all too easily how a person could go down this route. I wish I didn't. But I do.

I actually just came out as a Diet Coke preferer on twitter and the response was swift and ruthless. But I know I'm right.

Can I still order this one?

Only in my tricks or treats bag. —Charlie Brown

Also, this is STILL BETTER than birth control and comprehensive sex education, social safety nets and publicly-funded mental health programs.

Weird. I was referencing Don Quixote who also had strong feelings about windmills.

As a grown-ass woman, I would leave my vibrator out in full view WAY before I would have a stuffed animal decorating my bed.

I always confuse her for Oscar Wilde.

The quick wit we've come to expect from Honey Boo Boo

It reminds me of this piece I read that talked about the fondness for comparing black skin to food. (Chocolate, cocoa, coffee etc.) Just... can be pretty the way human beings are pretty?

There is no traction on a pleather pillow topped with a tea towel! TRUST ME.

Yeah. I'm drawn less by the nudity and more by the fact she looks like a victim of a crime. For crying out loud! Who lays half out of their window to tan. Has she never heard of "the ground"?

I knew girls who had parents who threatened to throw them out of the house if they found out they were on birth control. Every.single.one got pregnant. One girl had 3 abortions before we were in college. The other one kept hers, had two more, and is on her fourth husband. Birth control is NOT the problem here.

I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible.

I'm assuming you've made all the dietary changes you need to, so could it be what you're doing for exercise? It's kind of a dick move by biology, but our bodies are somewhat hard-wired to adapt to exercises. So what may have been a vigorous speed for a 30 minute run a year…