At last, we’ve found the true victims of Bowlen’s Green.

Gruden decided to make his bed with Sanchez as his No. 1 guy, and an off-the-street guy as his No. 2, for reasons that will never be explicitly articulated.

Can’t believe Megan and Shia laBoofed.

The preferred nomenclature isn’t “anti-vax”, it’s “pro-disease”!

Fuck her shitty ass parents. Bill for family vacation... I hope she never pays and it fucks up your credit forever, you trifling, nasty assholes. I hope Discover calls you nightly. I hope this article gets you hate mail.

You know basketball more than I do. You are a bigger fan of the game, have seen more of the game, and I’m a little hesitant to correct you in this, because I’m coming from weaker position in terms of authority. I’m conceding that up front.

“Hello, 911? I just saw a black man looking happy and I believe he might have just committed a crime and was pleased he got away with it. Please send someone immediately...”

Fucking hell we’re gonna end up with a Presidential dick pic aren’t we, that’s why he wants to text all of us personally

(Referee sees fencing response)

Very few thought “he seems smart.”  Most thought, “fuck Hillary Clinton.”

Aziz Ansari doesn’t deserve the level of vitriol directed at Louis CK et al. CK masturbated to his subordinates then blackballed them with his influence. Aziz Ansari thought he was getting a groupie one night stand, she thought it was a date. Neither of them clarified their expectations for the night. He was an…

So glad you brought that up. While I would be seeing CRA on opening weekend no matter what (same with Black Panther), I especially want it to exceed box office projections and trample on Marky Barks. I think Lainey said it well here: https://www.laineygossip.com/mark-wahlbergs-mile-22-vs-crazy-rich-asians-at-the-box-of…

Got my tickets. Even if you don’t want to see a rom-com, I recommend everyone take time to go see this movie over the weekend. This way it will crush the movie with Mark Wahlberg, a man who likes to beat up Asian-Americans for fun. 

WTF?

I hope he gets cancer and dies a miserable death.

and $24 mil to Steven Adams

“LeBron’s Lakers”

Is this a joke? 6 teams won 28 of the 30 championships in the 80s, 90s, and 00s. What is David Stern gonna do, force Cousins to take a bigger contract?

Punxatawney Bron. 

Again, as the only non-Lebron fan who comments on Deadspin, I will just say this (and stay in the grays because of it), that Lebron doesn’t have the balls to go to a Western team as he needs his free ride to the finals every year.