Hot take: Friends has always been awful. It’s the least funny show ever. I’m still astounded people like it.

Cover yo self in condome 

She seems like a major asshole who thinks that because she’s thin, what she’s doing must be right. She strikes me as someone who looks at fat people and is like, “but why don’t they just, like, do what I do?” I don’t know how to apply a word to that attitude, but I definitely suspect she hates fat people.

Their sizes run FREAKING TINY too. Back when I was 20lbs lighter, I got a free Fabletics from a friend—I ordered a size large in the pants just to be safe. I literally could NOT get them over my knees and I was a size 8 at the time. Another friend ordered the same size and had the same problem—and she’s WAY smaller…

You are a sociopath. Please seek assistance immediately.

I write emails like this for a living (I’m a content marketing copywriter). Hands down, a team has sat and written these emails, edited them, checked for voice. Chelsea is probably legit a worker in the office, but likelihood of her personally writing them is very low. I write the emails my CEO “sends” as marketing…