When I lived in Miami Beach, I was warned about the extremely treacherous water beside the highways and roads inland. It is very easy to drive your car into deep water and then to die in Miami. I feel heartless saying this, but if I had stolen a car in Miami and driven it into a pool, I would not expect the police to…

Sanders is catching up to his followers in douchiness.

So bad.

They thought they had destroyed her with Whitewater, for what it’s worth.

She strapped on a feedbag of ‘aute couture and began neighing madly.

Um, shameful meltdown!

Rock stars in the 60s and 70s routinely fucked children. I’d always assumed this would never be brought up, but it was a public and open fact during those decades.

But they’re raging! Against the machine, even!

Starred for the beautiful nuancing of egocentric wanking, which doesn’t sound appealing in the least.

Has anyone complained yet that this is a conspiracy of the DNC to conceal the debate and protect Hillary Clinton by staging this debate on television stations that no person actually watches?

I was working in a B Dalton bookstore in 1992 when she did her tour. One of my coworkers greeted her at the door and gave her a tour of our tiny shop, and she was very nice to him, she even took him out for coffee. She was an amazing and fun celebrity author.

If that sodomy joke is intentional, I approve 100%.

The child had had a liver transplant and left home without medication. Stopping prednisone and cyclosporin and other immune suppressive drugs suddenly can lead to organ failure. There’s a chance it wasn’t premeditated, if she suddenly became ill and he panicked.

Madonna is so played.

Waiting for someone to claim her groundbreaking Kardashian joke.

Emma Roberts’s coke dealers will be hosting a week long celebration after this news!

I love it when new cast members pretend they’ve never heard of the other cast.

The DC HWs were horrid beasts. Horrid, horrid beasts.

She’ll be awesome, making nervous rodent expressions while accusing Obama of all kinds of crimes.

Spade is continuing his lifelong work in cultural criticism, filling a role left vacant by Matthew Arnold years ago. We need wise and educated men like David Spade, deeply steeped in the best tradition of Western culture, to interpret our culture to us and for us. He is our Harold Bloom, but with a faux-ironic mullet,…