YOUR REAL MOTHER LEFT YOU IN A HOTEL SAFE

We work so quickly and swiftly and politely here that you didn’t even realize you walked away with a BRAND NEW LIVER (said with the enthusiasm of Rod Roddy)!! Also, you’re now up on all of your vaccinations; you’re welcome from the people of Canada!

Here in Canada, our hotel safes double as walk-in closets and also provide universal health care.

My confusion is about the size of this baby. All of the hotels I’ve stayed in that I can remember have safes that are like 6x12”. No baby could fit in that! Also, don’t you usually have to set a code to lock it? I’m so puzzled at this being real.

Do we know if the baby had an older toddler sibling? Older toddler siblings can be mean little bastards.

You can’t put them in hotel safes, you can’t hang their cradle from the bough of a tree....I mean WHAT IS LEFT?!!?

DON’T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM.

They’ve heard of exactly one Amendment.

Four times. I’ve had to use this 4x in less than a week. FOUR. Vier. Quattro. Get it to-fuckin’-gether humanity!

No, no, it wasn’t about slavery tho, it was about heritage. ;D

Soup is not a meal Jerry!

I’m all for equal rights, but not ALL the rights. Let’s not get crazy.

What?? His comment implies nothing of the sort. You (and the OP) are really reaching for something to be offended by here.

I heard a woman say, and I QUOTE “ I’m a mom & am too busy to pay attention to politics so I just vote for who my husband says is best.”

I wish they had grrl power sayings printed on them...

She went by ‘Blossom’ back then.

That’s from the beginning of the second Blossom episode, in which Blossom... well... blossoms. The poor kid can’t bring herself to buy tampons from a schoolmate who works in the drugstore, and when he picks them up, in her head they become gigantic!

Why is a young Mayim Bialik in the cover photo?

I could see this turning into a rousing game of Kegel tugawar!