Unless every employee descended on her like in The Lottery, I can’t see how all these injuries occurred.

Oh that kid. Does he not look like he’d like to burn the whole place down, or what?

I feel like there’s an important question here that nobody has answered: Did they save bread?

My mom used to love this place. I still have the mug she got there. It’s like a half-gallon insulated cooler with a lid. It’s been my favorite for years for iced water. Because of my allegiance to the mug, I’m on the restaurant’s side.

The story is that it was just Lamberts. Then one night it was too crowded and a waiter could not get though with the rolls to a customer who asked for some and they agreed that tossing a roll would satisfy both parties. Thus was born a tradition. It wasn’t a founding principle of the restaurant.

The building has a huge WWW.THROWEDROLLS.COM on it right under the name of the restaurant and to get to your seat, you have to dodge the roll-boy (he just walks around the restaurant throwing rolls, it’s his whole job). There is no way she didn’t know what she was getting into with this. The rolls are huge and airy,…

My father’s stepmother would demand this place be burned to the ground. You do not throw the body of Christ — which, to her, was pretty much any bread-type item. Dinner roll, English muffin, piece of toast, made no difference.

When you play a Game of Throwns, you win, or you sue for damage to your eye.

Parents named Helen and Paris?

Maybe they thought Helen was too common/cliché?

WTF kind of language is “...all head, neck, eyes and vision were severely damaged?” Does this mean the entire head? And neck? Or multiple heads and/or necks? Or is it just bullshit lawyer-speak for “any head or neck damage we haven’t found yet but could make up in the near future.”

Good catch; RFT’s post has been updated since I posted this a few hours ago. I’ll correct it above.

This should be filed to “throwed”.

Where is the “length that means I don’t have to cough up a hairball after” option?

Turns out Troy’s a lady. FYI.

For what it’s worth, a friend who has been to Lambert’s insists the rolls are so light that anyone who could injure someone with one “needs to professionally go into either baseball or murder.”

Yeah, the eye damage is probably the most believable bit of it. If he got unlucky and took a roll right in the socket I can see some damage being inflicted. The rest of it I can maybe see if he’s the descendent of Inspector Clouseau and responded to getting hit by jerking his head back, banging it on the back of the…

While I have doubts about the neck thing, I do know that a throw roll can cause at least a black eye.

I feel like Lambert’s Café needs to change its name to "Ow Bon Pain" after this incident.

I’ve been there precisely once and it is pretty clear when yeasty goodness will be flying because the servers roll bread carts out and yell “HOT BUNS!!!”* before dispatching the rolls across the restaurant. IIRC the proper etiquette was to raise your hand and a roll would be thrown to you - they don’t just throw them…