None. After he walked out on me and the kids I made a big point of continuing to go absolutely everywhere that I liked because fuck him, I own all these places and HE can go find somewhere new if it bothers him. 

One year, a 94 year old relative was randomly lucid and healthy enough on Thanksgiving morning to get out of her bed at assisted living. She said she wanted a McRib. So we all stopped food prep and piled in a few cars to pick her up from assisted living and went right over. Still the best Thanksgiving meal I’ve had.

This reminds me of that time that Hermann Goering had a recurring role on “My Three Sons.”

I think it might have hurt me! I only got into one of the 3 schools I applied to, and one of the ones that rejected me told me that I didn’t use enough “academic jargon” in my essay. (My first clue that continued academia was going to be super-pretentious and not for me.)

I haven’t ever really had a good birthday. It always seems to fall on a Tuesday or Wednesday. The weather is always super shitty (blizzards, ice rain, etc). But one year when I was a few months into my first adult job in Florida and living alone, my sis flew to visit and we went to Disney World together. It was truly…

My 10th birthday party.

My best birthday happened 3 weeks after I met a guy who I was very into. We’d been on a few dates but he was away that weekend for a friend’s wedding. My friends planned a fun and special day because it was my 30th birthday, and it was a blast, but I felt bad for continuously checking my phone to see if he texted. He…

Don’t feel bad for GenX, we thought the dreads were awful from the start.

My Mom had all girls and “boy moms” used to annoy her so much. They all seemed to assume that being loud, messy, and roughhousing was something only boys did. She would frequently point out that my sisters and I did all of those things (especially the story where my middle sister and I were fighting and fell onto the…

I have been reading jez for 10 years. This article, THIS one, prompted me to create an account. A member of bachelor nation or National Park nerd... can’t it be both?!?

Oh man, questionable facial hair? Lives in van? Unemployed? Sign 22-year-old me the fuck up. I can’t wait to buy him McDonald’s and lie about him to my parents.

I love Professor Bhaer, and Laurie was an entitled douche. I SAID IT.

My best friend and my sister are both pregnant. I’m not allowed to go around telling people so I’m telling internet strangers. Babies! Finally I get to be the weird aunty I was born to be, and enjoy watching these lovely little people grow up, without having to have any myself.

I’ve been staying keto.

You win, if only for sheer length. Also is that you Nana? You know this isn't voicemail right?

I had a rather unfulfilling microwave meal before I left for work today. 

Sadly somehow I missed “Hollywood Wives” (I know why; I was in college and didn’t own a TV) but having seen the intro clip above, now I must hunt it down. Who wasn’t in it? The payroll must have been phenomenal.

I’m starting to suspect that’s their long game...

Yep, fat people in their 5os sure don’t deserve satisfying sex, seeing as how they’re garbage and all </s>

Wow you are shit human being.