I lived with one window in an air shaft, so I never got a legitimate ray of sun. What amazes me still is how many friends (actors, writers) were delighted to live illegally on my crappy couch for months as my apartment was by no means the worst- mildew, roaches and all.

It was Columbia, wasn’t it? I moved into the whole laminate wood floor as well, but the rats that ran around (thankfully) outside reminded me to count my blessings and agree to embrace that hovel.

I actually replied to one Tully post with my old name and said something like(SPOILER FOR ANYONE WHO PLANS TO SEE TULLY) ‘my imaginary spoiler is that Tully isn’t real’. Could it be that? If so, I’m sorry.

My cousin was in a perpetual bully snit in the summer of 1982. She was also my primary babysitter while we stayed with extended family in Louisville. She hated babysitting, hated us, and basically hated all of mankind (at least that’s what it seemed to me at my young age.)

My laryngitis was cured on Christmas Day because of a special wish my daughter ( the youngest one in curls) made to a department store Santa. I was able to sing in church- which was a huge relief for my blended family.

A friend’s band was opening for the Mentors (if you’re not sure who they are, check them out on youtube) What didn’t become evident until they all got there was that opening for the Mentors was the equivalent of a hardship post- no one wanted to do it, but you felt you (a newbie band) had to do it to pay some sort of…

Isn’t it “911. ‘What’ is your emergency?” ?

Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I was trying to stave off what I thought was an epic hangover after a friend’s wedding, and gladly said ‘yes, thank you’ to the offer of a doughnut from a friend who’s house I was staying in for the wedding. I don’t know why the doughnut was a trigger, but as I ate it I started feeling unwell…

When I had my D&C for an ectopic pregnancy, I was told that I could no doubt try again within a few months and have a healthy baby. When my sister chose to have the same procedure (abortion/D&C—it’s ALL THE SAME) she was warned by no less than three friends that she was in danger of never having children because of…

That’s what I thought as well. Plus- it doesn’t seem as if that couple has enough brain between them to insist on anything detailed regarding the evidence, so it must be their legal counsel asking for the files etc. We’ve all just read a supremely dull article on a clickbait website (the blast, not Jezebel) recounting…

The most embarrassing part of this was that I’m not even sure why getting a base layer tan over my whole body was part of my seduction plan. It was the 90's, so less was made over the horrors of skin cancer? I had basically been holed up in school and the summer found me pink and pasty? I was sick of the pallid goth…

Post millennials and maybe their parents who never got enough of Swiper.

Ironic dabbing is all the rage for my older (15-19) kids

There is a strong possibility that you will not like them. They are little to nothing like the books.

Keep believing your own lie(s) and there will be no slip ups. That is an awesome surprise!

I literally cannot do that.

I used to give out the cinnamon red hots to my students for valentine’s day projects(They’re heart shaped and edible but with a waxy exterior that makes them herd to ruin) , but now thanks to Jar of Hearts I think I’ll give it a miss this year.

Didn’t Janet Jackson’s breast ‘pop out’ because Justin Timberlake tore part of her shirt off?

Oh, Tracks...I always managed to get lost there.

I was the terrible one who was insecure. I was also the worst waitress at dc space. Not to brag or anything.