Wow. That sounds like a fun party for everyone but you. I’m so sorry that that was your shower, never mind if you wanted one or not. Was everything better later?

Please find some way to get the story of this shower to the masses. I would delight in reading any boots on the ground you have.

I always thought that each of my kids regressed to a two year old’s humor once they hit 12 or so. It’s actually a fun time with their almost-young adult selves losing it over watching Elmo yet again.

This makes me think of a couple I knew almost twenty years ago who would frequently get ‘re-engaged’ at bars in order to get free drinks. Ingrid (that was her name) would go outside to smoke and yank off her engagement ring. She then go back in to the bar and palm it off her fiance who would then ‘propose’ a few…

As a grown woman with the hands of a chubby five year old, I feel your lack of hand-skills but wonder if a spatula wouldn’t be more of a help. It could free your almost-nimble hands to hull berries for the pancakes, which is a much needed addition.

I’m wondering that too. I live near DC and have seen when I walk to work how easy it is for school groups to wander around without their teachers etc. Was it the urge to be the cool mom/dad to hang back and not spoil the ‘fun’? I’m sure this will all be hashed out in the next couple of days. My God, this is nothing…

That is so wretchedly sad. I have boys that age and I know that look. All it would take is some parent, some friend, anyone they respect to tell them to shut the fuck up and they might get out of their mindset. You can see them hesitating and looking at each other to build the other up. It would be so easy to change…

My mother’s water broke at a fondue party in 1975, and she has hated it ever since.

I was the freaking out driver who almost got away with it becasue the super nice other driver saw me and my two toddler kids weeping and almost walked away. I was in such a state of disgust over myself that I insisted she call in my information. It turned out that we were under the same insurance and chatted about who…

I swear that took me at least a minute before I got it.

Let me start by saying that the reason I was so distracted at a small kid’s party was that one of my own small kids went missing (and was found a half an hour later) just a few days earlier. I’m not going to get into specifics, but the sheer terror of it all made the first few days after the ‘shrubbery incident’ (so…

This hits me. My husband asked our older (one in college and one a senior) kids if they would please stay in with us tonight. The reason is that my father in-law is dying and between staying with him as he gets worse, my husband battling a heinous cold, losing one job and gaining another next month ( thank all the…

I love this. I could definitely see me and my sister getting into an hours long blackout fight and laughing the entire time.

Thanks! 

Can’t the combination of Advil and alcohol cause stomach bleeding?

Keep writing too--your story was hilarious, but it was also well told.

The sloppiest and by far best new years eve I ever had was when I worked at a comedy club. Working there was not the best experience- bad management, pig comics who thought their manufactured hilarity would somehow make the waitresses agree to unspeakable things in the back room, the fact it was in the basement of an…

I have no idea about the legality of this, but since these embryos are ‘part’ of Sofia Vergara, wouldn’t she still be a legal parent? If that evil ex tried to have them implanted in a surragate, wouldn’t she have right of refusal? If there are children born out of this mess, wouldn’t she still be the biological mother…

Same—I always skip through to the end of any child-in-peril mystery to see what happens to the kid. Now that my oldest is in her teens I now have to forget any women-in-peril story lines as well. Eventually I’ll have nothing but cooking shows to watch.

This was an odd Christmas all around. Instead of bringing out kids to my mom’s house in NY, where extended family and friends all live, we’re staying in the south to take care of my terminally ill father in law.