That is so wretchedly sad. I have boys that age and I know that look. All it would take is some parent, some friend, anyone they respect to tell them to shut the fuck up and they might get out of their mindset. You can see them hesitating and looking at each other to build the other up. It would be so easy to change…

My mother’s water broke at a fondue party in 1975, and she has hated it ever since.

I was the freaking out driver who almost got away with it becasue the super nice other driver saw me and my two toddler kids weeping and almost walked away. I was in such a state of disgust over myself that I insisted she call in my information. It turned out that we were under the same insurance and chatted about who…

I swear that took me at least a minute before I got it.

Let me start by saying that the reason I was so distracted at a small kid’s party was that one of my own small kids went missing (and was found a half an hour later) just a few days earlier. I’m not going to get into specifics, but the sheer terror of it all made the first few days after the ‘shrubbery incident’ (so…

This hits me. My husband asked our older (one in college and one a senior) kids if they would please stay in with us tonight. The reason is that my father in-law is dying and between staying with him as he gets worse, my husband battling a heinous cold, losing one job and gaining another next month ( thank all the…

I love this. I could definitely see me and my sister getting into an hours long blackout fight and laughing the entire time.

Thanks! 

Can’t the combination of Advil and alcohol cause stomach bleeding?

Keep writing too--your story was hilarious, but it was also well told.

The sloppiest and by far best new years eve I ever had was when I worked at a comedy club. Working there was not the best experience- bad management, pig comics who thought their manufactured hilarity would somehow make the waitresses agree to unspeakable things in the back room, the fact it was in the basement of an…

I have no idea about the legality of this, but since these embryos are ‘part’ of Sofia Vergara, wouldn’t she still be a legal parent? If that evil ex tried to have them implanted in a surragate, wouldn’t she have right of refusal? If there are children born out of this mess, wouldn’t she still be the biological mother…

Same—I always skip through to the end of any child-in-peril mystery to see what happens to the kid. Now that my oldest is in her teens I now have to forget any women-in-peril story lines as well. Eventually I’ll have nothing but cooking shows to watch.

This was an odd Christmas all around. Instead of bringing out kids to my mom’s house in NY, where extended family and friends all live, we’re staying in the south to take care of my terminally ill father in law.

It’s so great when a salesperson works overtime to make a great experience for a maybe/maybe not customer. I hope your nephew gets more candle stores in the future.

I am so glad I watched this while working at home. I wish I could go back in time and apologize to my husband’s Auntie (who helped raise him) for all the times I didn’t pay attention while she made dolmas. Maybe my kids will do better.

Before this all came out, I had never heard of ‘Bull’, and I had little idea as to who Michael Weatherly was. I definitely knew Faith the Slayer, though. That’s as it should be.

You have my sympathies (I have no love for Applebees) but if your husband wants to forward the card to a better place, there are a number of family shelters that try to collect cards just like that to gift to newly placed families or for a parent’s birthday etc. Applebees has its uses-especially when you want to take…

My personal cakewalk donation triumph was when I took a bland-but-not-bad vanilla cake, decorated it with gumdrops and leftover ballerinas from a birthday party, and labeled it ‘Sugar Plumb Fairy Cake’. There was a near riot. I’m not that great with baking, but I can package the hell out of a cake.