[spends all day arguing that he alone understands the context and meaning of the national anthem and performances thereof but can’t recognize the difference between the Declaration of Independence and the Preamble to the Constitution]

Furthermore, since you want to play dumb, I’ll explain it to you: the anthem evokes the struggle to preserve and continue the nation, the nation as a literal sovereign state freed from England and the nation as the set of ideals upon which it is purported to have been founded, particularly America’s idea of itself as…

Nobody cares whether you kneel during the anthem. Don’t flatter yourself. You aren’t famous, wealthy, or black.

In what way does recapitulating your previous comments respond coherently to the substance of mine? Repeating they are protesting “the wrong thing, at the wrong time”—another way of saying they are protesting incoherently—after I just offered an argument for how the protest is perfectly coherent, furthers the…

For what, in your argument, did people to whom you are referring risk their health and safety? For the military itself, or for the nation?

Where did you see this different angle, praytell?

Howdy. Also a pedant. I’ll throw in with Shakespeare, who uses “from whence,” and the general notion that a little common parlance can creep into our sentences, even, egads, at the occasional expense of economy. I’d mention the King James Bible too, but, frankly, some of the prose therein is crap.

Hue Jackson:

But vaccines don’t cause autism.

I like to think he meant this: Vaccines cause autism; therefore this is the same as parents suing pharmaceutical companies. Still dumb, but with the virtue of being less expected.

I get all of what you’re saying, but I also think you’re describing a cultural phenomenon—in the media and in the country at large—that is causing us a helluva lot of trouble right now. I care far more about whether someone is right than I do about whether he’s front and center. Maybe you don’t. The extent to which he…

There was his apparent refusal of therapy for his wife because, he said, she’d recover better with him than with a professional. If that’s indeed his approach, that’s, um...not awesome. He made some weird comments about it, too, which were maybe jokes, I hope?

Hey, now, there’s a difference between false modesty and clownish lying; see Donald Trump. Are you suggesting LaVar Ball just tells it like it is, just says what he feels, just speaks from the heart?

“Sometimes you eat the barr, sometimes the barr eats you.”

This article wrenched your heart? Aw, you softy.

Are you kidding? Which of the dozen or so Deadspin articles about Stallworth do you want to see? Why don’t you use the mystical powers of the search field, or perhaps that obscure site Google, then try posting again? Google will do you the solid of autocorrecting your spelling error. Really idiot proof, that.

I know Rodgers was out of the pocket and all that, but driving the star quarterback to the turf after the throw is a move the league should have barred.

Your grammar is confusing. Is “are you a pussy” the question Jesus is asking Christ while fucking him? Is the ellipsis innuendo? Is this Jesus, pre-crucifixion, fucking Christ, post-crucifixion? Is time travel involved? Or, if Jesus is fucking Christ, is that masturbation? If it’s masturbation, is he asking himself if…

“But the slaves like being slaves!”

Actually, yes, it does. It doesn’t make you “not an asshole,” but it does make you “less of an asshole,” until such time as asshole behavior continues unabated, at which point full original assholery is formally recognized.