While it was reported that his severance package was originally going to be 140% of his salary, it was later determined that it was actually 0.04%.

I’m glad you apologized at the start, cause you write terribly.

Whoever wins, we all lose in the end.

I can't be the only one who just slapped their own elbows a couple times and thought, "damn that's solid".

This is the bizarre part for me. It is troubling to have a teen who refuses to do what her teacher asks, then what the principal asks, then what the cop asks.

I’m the only “I” I know.

“Sometimes new learns push out the old stuff.”

This really shakes up the Minnesota program.

I think the majority of people don’t care about who someone they don’t care about finds attractive.

The five cock rings he has tatted on his arm should have been a dead giveaway.

I don’t see why this is news.

Ohh yea, of course they were doing it in Brooklyn before it was cool.

As an insomniac who hasn’t slept for a week and feels like a zombie, this joke feels in poor taste and braaaaaains...

This needs some John Wick.