Maybe he saw the Thomas Jefferson vs Fredrick Douglas Epic Rap Battles Of History video and got confused.

What are the odds that he could name five more black people, living or deceased?

Summary: “The blacks love me.”

Unintelligable word salad peppered with empty promises.

1 valium a day? Just asking because I could really use a valium right now.

So right! After watching this hearing on CSPAN, my neural pathways were rewritten.

IT WAS FUNNY JOKE HA HA HA.

I totally understand the Freudian slip, but I think you mean vial.

I think I am going to need a valium Rx for the next 4 years. Let’s get on that K thanks.

Is it bad that I always read his name as “Greedy Fuckface McFuckerson?”

One valium per person is the new ACA replacement plan, that and one vile of cyanide.

#IMWITHluciFER

“Can you believe how many shitty airports I’ve had to hang out in that don’t even have caviar and hooker service? Why isn’t THAT a campaign issue, I ask you?”

And the media is so unfair oh my god this Rush song has the best drum solo I’ve ever heard Neil Peart is a living god where was I crooked hillary airports.

Cotton mouth + pursed lips did it for me (my other theory: like 500 mg of adderall? Technically legal but basically the same)

You weren’t. The first thing I thought was, “What the fuck is he on?”

Howard saying Trump is on coke is like the pot calling the kettle black. And by black, I mean Negros of color. I mean, Persons of Negros. Which I have totally employed... which is totally like housing discrimination. Which totally happened. But, you know, lawyers like Barack! And we totally just settled on that…

Well, if penises were not supposed to fly free, why did God give mine wings?

I had multiple people here say that to me yesterday... as if it were somehow all on her for that and he just couldn’t possibly have kept it in his pants because penises have to fly free or something.

Let the circus begin. No matter what happens people will still find a way of blaming Angelina . They still hate her for ‘splitting up a marriage’ and Brad came out of that unscathed even though he’s a grown man who can be held accountable for his own decisions. Christ I’m now ranting.