God dammit, I was a victim of clickbait.

Internet Blogger Would Like To Tell You How To React To CEO’s Letter To Employees.

It’s Hamilton Nolan. You were somehow expecting nuance?

So you only work in absolutes. Relativism has no place in the work force? Got it.

Everything you say is correct, but humorless communists don’t care for any shades of gray on their “capitalism is pure evil” worldview.

Hamilton’s take is that Schultz is obnoxious and exploitative. I agree he is obnoxious, but think that Starbucks is a pretty great gig for the unskilled worker as they give you stock options, 401k, pay toward your degrees, etc. I wouldn’t consider these programs exploitative.

“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.” - George Carlin

Oh, the irony of that headline, Hamilton.

2/10 satire

8/10 low key racism

I agree that this guy is a dick. And this letter is patronizing bull crap. But can we stop pretending that a real alternative is for rich people to give up all of their money?

Isn’t Starbucks one of the best case scenarios for lower wage workers? It was my understanding that they have been offering benefits and stuff for years before anyone gave that to service industry workers.

I can’t believe Brangelina actually hate each other this much. Initially, I thought Angelina was divorcing Brad so she could adopt him but I guess not.

Brad Pitt was a stoner when she married him.