Devastating.

Unlike the baseball, however, your wife’s seams are looser than ever.

That got dark fast.

Security experts have confirmed that it only took the offender three attempts to break the account’s password: GUMBOGUMBOGUMBO

Five bucks says the Patriots knew about this. Five more says the Raiders didn't.

Steelers fans like him again now

I’m not sure I’d want to see Intergluteal Cleft opening for anyone.

The ball is clearly juiced. But your arguments are a slow dribbler to the pitcher.

I felt like a David Attenborough narration would have helped the reader on this one.

A guy with a ridiculous accent, wearing a flat-brimmed camo hat, filming videos in the front seat of his car is the voice of reason in this story.

This read like a article in an anthropological journal about some uncontacted tribe in the Amazon. 

“the Raiders knew what they were getting into when they traded for AB.”

Harris seems like a smart and reasonable guy, but it felt like his entire position was “The Raiders handled everything well, except for any part where they didn’t unequivocally condone AB’s behavior.”

Crop your screenshots you absolute heathen.

More confidence than you’ll get from waxing the dolphin.

The only difficult part of a survivor league this year is who to pick the four weeks the Dolphins are either on a bye or playing the Pats, Jets, or Bills for a second time. 

Not surprising. Mike Scott is well trained in the art of Pennsylvania fisticuffs.

Here are all the countries that begin and end with the letter “A”: Australia, Austria, Albania, Algeria, Andorra, Angola, Antigua and Barbuda, Argentina, and Armenia

Still more conference championships than Notre Dame.

People care about a lot of teams that never win much, there’s nothing wrong with that. What’s insane about UT fans is that literally they start every season thinking they’re destined to win the national championship that year. Sports radio here in August is a parade of lunatics predicting 10, 11, 12 win seasons.