“Everybody knows, though, that a crone is the most powerful witch of all..”

Them? They’re engaged!

Don’t be conflicted. Just don’t think about it too hard, too too hard.

i worked REALLY HARD on this video, ok

same except i did law and order with my barbies. however, if/when i do get engaged, i’ll be pumped to plan just because i love planning.

You mean the emotional labor?

WHOOP WHOOP

It’s simple, really.

1/2 situations in which Men use the toilet require the seat to be down (unless you shit standing up, which...is just impressive)

2/2 situations in which Women use the toilet require the seat to be down.

Therefore 3/4 times the toilet seat needs to be down.


edit: holy fuck people I’m not saying Men…

And we are already off to a FLYING start.

Just remember to put the seat back down after y’all are done today, k?

I fear and mistrust sports and consider this a covert attempt to try and induct me into one of your terrifying exercise cults and I will not have it, sir.

The Kylie Cosmetics logo is just so gross. I don’t really ever like disembodied lips*, but it turns out I like them even less when they seem gooey and drippy.

One time my boyfriend noticed that I had a hair stuck to my face. When he went to pull it off my entire cheek drew toward him like he had hooked a fish. When it finally released from its pore it had to have been four inches long. I look at myself every day, how did I not once see that growing!

No.

This is just the dumbest take. I’m sorry.

Which 14 of you people voted “Yes! I love Seth Rogan!”?

Well, that’s a lot of reductio ad absurdum about disagreeing with the premise (talking to tablecloths and toilet paper, really?), but what’s the harm in having the digital assistant in your phone point you towards helplines if you’re in distress?

“I am a person. I have a person-ality. I take things person-ally, because I’m person-able. You can’t do those things when you’re not a person. And I am a person.”

I am a 37 year old mother of two and I buy my most of my jeans at American Eagle.

Unusual or offbeat people are always going to catch shit from people who think, for one reason or another, that mocking others makes them look good. If the testimony from the locals is true it sounds like it’s rolling right off their collective back. Keep on saving the birds, ladies, it’s a fine mission, and one that…