Please enjoy this wild tweet from generic commuter drone.

I drove into work this morning in the same car I always do. Amazingly I found that people still seem upset that I try to merge onto the freeway at 40 mph, I still have no clue what the lines on the road are supposed to mean or why anyone would put them there,…

I’m sure there are nice people everywhere.

Did Wendy’s go out of business?

I don’t remember there being a hole across the street from Fred Meyer, but I haven’t watched very closely

I think “malted” is one of those slang words used by people who think that the peak of American culture was 1950's America as portrayed on television shows made in the 70's.

When I worked overseas after university, one of my colleagues was like “What are Twinkies like, I’ve got to try them” So I had my father send me a couple boxes.

Someone in the department was like “These are past their sell-by date, are you trying to poison us? Why are you laughing?”

redacted for redundancy.

The only person I’ve met from Toronto was a real asshole. Which is funny, because I voted to offer a room in the house to her when she interviewed...but being Canada, they might just adhere to those enhancements.

Down here in Canada’s underpants however, people adhere to the lines on the streets at about 60% of the…

“after I kept folding them in half”

Well played.

My wife insists on storing dish towels, napkins and place mats in the same cupboard, and or the life of me, I can’t tell the difference until I get it out of the cupboard and unfolded. (and then only about 50% of the time)
 

Add white to the list of colors that look better on a Ferrari than red.

Man, that thing looks like a two-wheeled Veneno

Because Thanksgiving is a phony American holiday, an attempt by the Yankees to ‘horn themselves a secular holiday in front of Olde Europe’s religious ones.

And Scranus!

Armie Hammer. Excellent.

So, what is this guy’s real name?

“The roads are funded through gasoline/diesel taxes, not through general revenue”

That’s not true.

the rotating names of stadiums and venues.

Again, referencing my time overseas. My British friends were confounded that a sports venue would change names, and properly offended at the idea that a team would change cities.

At least we’ll have Jersey Shore Vacation....

That reminds me of living in Scotland; where individual streets change names as you progress along them.

In Edinburgh, North Bridge turns into South Bridge, turns into Clerk Street, turns into Newington Rd turns into Mayfield Gardens. Or Strathern Pl becomes Strathern Rd becomes Beaufort Rd becomes Grange Rd Becomes…

90% of my driving is for pleasure now. It wouldn’t hurt my feelings if AVs replaced the appliances used by commuter drones tomorrow.

“drugs and alcohol at auto plants is nothing new”

My father was was off smoking pot with someone on break, but he got caught on the other side of tracks by a train at Olds in Lansing.

“They have killed god.”