Here's my theory on why Schwab got fired: Roving brains for hire are priceless, but they cannot be quantified in a way that makes sense to upper management. Those people like to hear "This person generates this much for the company, this person draws in this many viewers."

Absolutely. Getting promoted is more about "personal branding" now, and how one represents the company, than what you actually know. It's better to present a good face for the company than to understand your product.

I want to add that bailiff to all GIFs everywhere. His reaction shot makes everything better.

Yeah — it seems as if Komen gives some money to things that help people with Cancer, but they sure are interested in keeping themselves in the green while dressing others in the pink.

May I join? Live tweeting to commence around movie time. Clown makeup NOT optional.

Martin Landau just classed up the joint! This is "prestige" stuff right here!

And a good book cover also needs to capture the genre of the book. Literary fiction gets a little more wiggle room, but mystery books tend to follow a standard template, and you can tell right off the bat which one is a cozy, which one is procedural and which one is hardboiled. The covers may not be pretty, but they…

Yeah, I think it is wonderful that Angelina Jolie made her decision to remove her boobs public because still, despite all the walks and pink ribbons, people still treat cancer as something to be ashamed of or to hide. (I speak based on what my uncle went through when he had cancer, so it isn't unique to women.)

Hm. I am border-millennial (get off my lawn!). But a lot of the millennials I work with are ultra-ambitious and stay late. Maybe that's because they want more stuff.

While we are all talking about giving Retta things (because she most definitely deserves it), can we give her an advice column? Because, hell, if Ozzy Osbourne's name is attached to an advice column (it is), then I'd say she would be much better at it, and the advice would be absolutely brilliant.

I have a T-shirt that says Doug Wilson for Agrestic City Council. Love it!

I get where you're coming from, but there are some people who will not pay for anything ever (usually their share of the drinks when you go out as a group).

Related: How do you handle it if the people around you are talking about themselves all the time? And if you do mention yourself, they make really obvious attempts to make it about them?

I love JaVale. And I love the Warriors. But that is a scary-ass Marshall's.

That is reassuring knowing the look is more the result of optical effects than anything else. I was worried about these poor models not eating for ages! Maybe it's because Jessica Alba said she wore a corset for a ridiculous amount of time.

I feel for the Southerners in the comments, so I'm glad to see someone reference the "Valley Girl" problem. I have a Valley Girl voice, so people assume I'm dumb as a rock. Even though I worked hard to stop saying "like" and "dude," nothing I do has stopped me from sounding like Moon Zappa on helium.

Maybe a dumb question — but does your food get digested properly when you're in a corset? The women in the catalog look like they don't have enough room to digest a Cheerio, much less a salad.

I recall an episode of "Flavor of Love" in which the winner received a trip to Red Lobster with Flavor Flav.

Can you imagine the pre-coital wordplay that unfolds between sneaky lovers at an Olive Garden? "Oh, you like endless breadsticks? Well, have I got an endless breadstick for you!"

This. Let's ignore Thurston Moore, his side piece, and his new band and focus on the awesomeness that is Kim Gordon.