I’m letting everybody know that when this bastard kicks it, I’m celebrating. I’m not biting my tongue, I’m throwing a party. If it’s a weekday, I’m calling in sick, getting drunk, and having a good time, because regardless of the weather, it’ll be a really great day.

I love that Black Panther has resonated so deeply with black people of all cultures, and even people of color in general, all over the world.

Gremlins 2 pitch meeting

At a valet station in the not-distant future, two dudes will be leaping about screaming “JORDAN PEELES IS MY JAM!”

That first guy in the second wave:

Fuck that. No one deserves to sexually assaulted.

My daughter’s old day care provider went off the rails and started posting pro-Trump crap on her Facebook in late 2015. The problem is, she and her husband are Peruvian immigrants. Does she really think that, if the mobs of MAGAbros were to come through her town and start dragging Mexicans from their houses, that the…

Chickens got earlobes?

I know it’s a grift from the top down, at every single level, at every single opportunity, but they’re all so fucking stupid about it. Ben Carson is already quite wealthy. If he wasn’t a god damned fucking moron, as well, he’d just say, “I will be paying for this out of my personal funds,” as soon as it hit. You don’t…

Women don’t owe you shit.

I am really confused when it comes to Alec Baldwin. He’s is hysterical. I love watching him on SNL, I loved him on 30 Rock. I love his movies.

Warning to adults everywhere. These kids are really smart and really good at the social media, stop screwing with them.

You’ve got to be a bit more specific, there are plenty of people with robes and pointy hats who aren’t witches in this administration.

Oh thank god barstool reader is here

Yes, as someone else noted, I made a typo.

:) Nah, just having a monday.

You lose the ‘k’ on your typewriter?

I love scotch, but I think you’re right. It’s not really a cocktail liquor. Not that they aren’t cocktails that include scotch, but they aren’t really popular. Personally, I love the contradictory nature of good scotch, really simple, but also really complex. It’s my drink of choice, but I do like my whisky neat, so...