Funny story regarding The Secret:

I remember when the Gorbachev’s visited, Mrs. Gorbachev wore a beautiful cloth coat. Barbara looked her up and down and asked, “I thought you Russians wore fur coats?” Mrs. Gorbachev responded that they do in Russia but that she had read that some Americans didn’t like fur and she wanted to make a good impression.…

Ohhhh this takes me back to my childhood. My mom wore a LOT of Doncaster in the 80s/90s. Shiny fabrics, giant sleeves, shoulder pads...there were still some in the attic up to a couple of years ago when my parents got divorced and they were all fantastic. My sister and I always had the best dresses for 80s days during…

Thank God she got a $6 million settlement in her civil suit. I have this theory as an attorney that the only way rape victims can get vindication anymore is through the civil system. I have represented rape victims pro bono to file lawsuits against their attackers, and against the police department, and will continue…

The New York Times published an article about precipitation in California today with the headline “Thanks to El Niño, Thirsty California Is Suddenly All Wet.” Now that’s what you call a state of arousal! Bye!

I have the dark dysfunctional flip side to this story (but don’t worry, the outcome was extra ice cream and a story). When I was in third grade the teacher sent home a note that had to be signed (for a class trip, I believe). I was late handing it in because my parents were away. The next morning after they came home…

True. For some reason, kids abuse the shit out of their phones, so, not being as rich as Madonna, I have a problem with giving the kid a $600 device that will inevitably be destroyed. My younger kid got my used 5, and broke the screen about 6 months later. It didn't really faze him until I replaced it with a $99…

I’m sure when Rocco doesn’t clean his room and Madonna yells at him he just says, “Mama, don’t preach, I’m just expressing my self. Stop yelling at me I’m here on holiday. You’re being a borderline schizo. You should thank your lucky star for a son like me. I’ll remember and cherish our time spent together, open your…

Sweets and chocolate are outlawed, along with dairy products, salt and preservatives

“hard-core macrobiotic diet,”

I...fully support a kid not getting an iPhone till after they’re 15

My beloved babycat (not really a babycat anymore but don’t tell him) woke me up at 5am, 6am, 7:15, 8:45 and 9:30 by walking up and down my prone body, paying special attention to my ribs, and yelling in my ear. Because it was time to feed him repeatedly, and pet him while he eats. Of course my boyfriend snoring next…

You know what my cat gave me for breakfast this morning? A swipe across the nose. An omelet, even a cat fur-filled one, would have been vastly preferable.

Goddamn it, AT LEAST GET GOOD FOOD. Dominos? That is only good for verrrrrry drunk pizza-ing.

For someone who is supposedly so privileged, he has really awful taste in food. I mean, you can get so much amazing cuisine in Mexico, and you go for fucking Dominoes? That makes me hate him even more, and I didn’t even think that was possible.

My brother recently grew a goatee because he can't grow a beard and I've been begging him to shave it off because he looks like demon Robin Hood

Can I just say I really admire your maturity about this? Also,