He’s been doing it figuratively for years. Seems appropriate he can now do it literally, as well.

We’re two or three news cycles away from learning this guy harvests pineal juice from the homeless to inject directly into his eyes so he can see in the dark.

Look, his refusal to spend money on frivolous things like “indoor plumbing” is the reason why he’s a billionaire and not some lowly millionaire living paycheck-to-paycheck.

That’s the best kind of guest spot.

“And welcome back to Inside Extra Access! Our final story tonight is a blind item! A certain NFL quarterback is out for the season with two fractured vertebrae and a cracked rib! Seems he listened to his ‘good friend’ Joe Rogan and tried to... well... introduce a certain part of his anatomy to his cheeks! Yes, the…

Paramount+’s biggest problem is that unless they are a Star Trek show, the rest of their original shows get very little promotion.

Makes sense.  I hear it’s easier to do when you are very short 

I’ve suspected based on close personal experience with mental health breakdowns is that the reason she got put under comservatorship in the first place was because there was a suicide attempt and/or a threat to her children. Sadly many judges are old boomers who have very negative opinions on mental health and I’ve…

Ironically, he can also kiss my ass.

“I’ll take mental images no one has ever wanted for $100, Alex.”

“Doctors will tell you it’s impossible to suck yourself off, but I did my own research.”

Which, speaking of: Guess who’s now claiming he can suck his own dick?

Every time I hear something about Joe Rogan I learn more than I ever wanted to know about Joe Rogan, and I wanted to know nothing about Joe Rogan.

Sheesh, I’ve thought “Suck a dick” a bunch of times in relation to Joe Rogan. I just assumed he’d suck the dick of someone else.

“I’ve put it around my face just to know I could do it,”

No, he’s flexible in both directions, since he spends most of his podcast going up his own asshole.

He’s either lying that he can or lying that he hasn’t. Both can’t be true.

So to be clear, that would mean it’s not at all a tall order for him to go eat a dick, wouldn’t it?

You are what you eat.