I think it’s even more elaborate than that. Bella was placed in that tree by the coven as a child, and the coven’s power grew as the child and tree grew together . . . until Bella, drunk with power, decided to take matters into her own hands/branches, and the coven decided they had to stop her.

This is why we can’t have nice things.  Nice going, Alien Jesus!

Have you learned nothing from corporate America?  Scrawl it out by hand on a cocktail napkin, then hand it to some underpaid intern for the graphics.  

We get it, Vago.  You’re in the pocket of Big ‘Quality Of Life’.  

It’s more likely they stuffed her in the tree soon after death, than, say, kill her, leave the body wherever until rigor mortis sets in, then wait out rigor mortis until she was pliable again, and then stuff her in the tree.

Sounds like this could have been done simply as a series of shorts, used to preface other movies without having to worry about the lack of overarching story elements.  

Fair enough!

Is it maybe possible that’s also just perception? Not sure how old you are, but the media I consumed growing up in the ‘80s was just unfathomably shitty by modern standards. We get a bunch of shitty false equivalencies like, “the ‘70s had The Godfather and we have the Saw movies, but that’s because people forget all…

“Rogan comes with a heaping side of ignorance and misogyny”

Pretty clearly, you need someone to do it.

You seem pretty angry about an article that no one forced you to read.  

For a moment, I thought you were trolling, but who would lie about a thing like that?

Okay, let me get this straight: You loved Over The Top?!?

There were Planet Hollywood places outside the US?  That just seems weird and pointless.  Are there other countries with people stupid enough to overpay for a shitty meal just because it’s served near a washed-up celebrity’s costume accessory?  

Perhaps suggest that you were functioning as a live-action advertising mannequin, only to discover you had be functionally replaced by a hatstand.  

About the same amount of customer traffic, too.  

My soul died a little that day.

When I started to walk, there was a lull in the noise and I heard someone ask who we were and someone very audibly said ‘Forget it. They’re nobody.’

but the original lineup featured the talents of Always Be My Maybe’s Ali Wong, Amy Schumer, Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle, David Letterman, Jamie Foxx, Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin, Kevin Hart, Martin Lawrence, Sebastian Maniscalco, the cast of Schitt’s Creek, and more . . .

Yep.  The Trump Administration was four full years of this country violently soiling itself on the world stage.