Were they yelling “baka” at you? I understand that means “treasured foreign visitor”!

You think he had better things to do?

*represses joke about interesting games to play with rossmiller’s wife*

I was dubious about his claims that it was better than Russian Roulette.

Your girlfriend is getting a lot of mediocre reviews? Bummer.

Is that Dennehy on the couch? I thought that was a taxidermist’s botched job on Malcolm McDowell.

We get it, D’Angelo. You’re in the pocket of Big Confusion.

The Seagull 2: Avian Boogaloo!

In Nate Crowley’s The Death And Life Of Schneider Wrack, the characters steal several ships around the middle of the book, among them a ship named “Checkov’s Gun”.

Of course she’s evil. She’s got red hair and two X chromosomes. Whaddya need, a road map?!?

Humor is just not your thing, huh?

Oh c’mon, all the cool kids have them . . . .

It was pretty cold in that room.

It’s Squidward’s hip-hop name.

Noon already? Damn, I’m running late!

Don’t get him tattooed. You wouldn’t like him when he’s tattooed.

*sharpens small knife, readies jar of ink, opens bottle of bourbon*

As someone who suffers from chronic depression, it’s always nice to see it addressed publicly and by someone who is otherwise successful.

I’m now going to don my asbestos onesie and make a deeply inappropriate comment. Be sure to strap in and keep hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.

Your snide smugness aside, there are a lot of barriers between what we have and mob rule. The Electoral College was a logistical workaround that only perseveres because of vested interests and institutional inertia.