Last time I got an Olive Garden gift card, it was actually a Darden Restaurants gift card. If that's the case, see if you have a Bahama Breeze nearby.

Right? 'Oh no guys! I looked at the world's blowjob inventory and there are missing blowjobs! We counted them all! A few are missing. Why isn't this cat lady coming up with the missing blowjobs?!"

My dad is the third type of dude. My mom had crazy ass periods and she bled all over her skirt on their first date, and had to send someone from the bathroom to tell my dad what happened. He took off his jacket, asked the woman to bring it to my mom, and drove my mom home as though nothing had happened, walked her to…

I'll admit, while I would never do it, I kind of love it when someone does, because my puckish side loves it when there's some clueless motherfucker I can judge at the wedding.

Don't ask the bride if it's okay for you to wear your white satin dress to her wedding.

If only there was an organization that looked out for Italian Americans, that could advocate on her behalf, that could negotiate with the museum, maybe make them an offer that they perhaps might have a hard time refusing.

I use 100 percent jojoba oil. I hear almond oil also works. Jojoba absorbs fast, provides good moisture, doesn't smell like anything, and is good for sensitive skin.

This is suuuuuuuper basic, but have you tried the CeraVe ones from the drugstore? And yeah, definitely return if something is irritating your face.

Please check out Cosmetics Cop/Beautypedia. The "best" skin products are all pretty much good for sensitive skin, and they have reviews at all price points.

You can't feed cats on a vegan diet because they are obligate carnivores, i.e. they literally need to eat animal products in order to survive.