“You know what I like.”

I played that audio backward and it said: “America is dead.”

If you’d just said “I don’t like him because he is black,” you could have saved yourself a lot of words.

Me sober: “Why he did not buy a smaller catfish at first place?”

Yeah, but reading is hard, while self-expression always gets rewarded by mommy.

Ethical dilemma of the day: is it worse to pull off this stunt (and all of the disgusting details necessary thereto), or to be a fucking Penguins fan?

Tonight’s 3 Stars of the Game:

It’s Pittsburgh, you could walk in with a Catfish in one pocket and a bag of smashed assholes in the other and be olfactorily indistinguishable from the guy or gal in front of and behind you in line.

Still better than a sammich from Primanti’s

I met him at a hotel bar in NY years ago. Nobody in the place knew who he was other than me. “My dad swore by your football writing.” Simple thanks and an invite to sit and chat. Spent about an hour talking about hockey spreading throughout the South. My wife showed up. I left. I knew I had just taken up time from…

Pretty sure the Root would appreciate a young black superstar, while rightfully roasting your racist ass.

Read about Green Boots and several others last week when some of the recent deaths were reported. I noticed that there were expeditions with the purpose of moving those who are still up there to less visual locations.

We’ve sold out every game this season. And when there weren’t enough seats for the playoffs:

It’s only interesting when the usuals make it to the Final? You have a pretty boring outlook IMO.

(Furiously shooting paintballs at pineapples)

I’m sure the sherpas who laid out this season’s route appreciate the “unassisted” label. 

Missile, King. 1992. Describes the pitfalls of having a penis that can be removed at will.

Somewhere Jim Balsillie is tearfully clutching a Hamilton Predators shirt in one hand and an old Blackberry Curve in the other.

Oh yea, back then they couldn’t keep a FA to save their lives. They could keep role players and guys who wanted ice-time but you never had high-quality talent sticking around.

18 years of listening to my awful fellow Missourians completely confounded about why I would pick the Preds over the Blues is finally vindicated. I even married a life-long Blues fan and now she’s cheering. My f-ing father-in-law is on board.

Lemme tell you this, STL fans do not take kindly to the notion that you…