Their grand plan is to publish a lengthy think-piece in a progressive newspaper that espouses grandiose ideas of inclusion and aisle-crossing. It’ll be a big hit, for sure.

What is it about the actions of the Democratic Party over the last 20 years that makes you think they’re capable of grand plans?

Putin: *does increasingly creepy things we can’t do anything about or even really understand because we don’t have his james bond villain brain*

Photo of the Kremlin’s invitation to American diplomats:

Any American parent who would let their kid within a hundred yards of Putin right now should get their head checked.

Honestly, it sounds like it’s whimpering “Help me” and begging for the sweet release of death.

START?

And America will dumbly blink and ask “What does any of this have to do with Chinese take-out?”

Putin’s riding right into the White House.

Did Donald Trump take over their twitter account for the day?

This is truly how the most powerful people in the world communicate. How sad.

In fairness, it did sound exactly like something Trump would make up.

I, for one, am glad we have a president who doesn’t consider nuance, who sees the world as 100% black and white, right and wrong, good and evil, and who rightly views all forms of criticism as outright attacks. I was starting to get sick of having thoughtful leaders who recognize and attempt to deal with the…

Fuck that. The state of Colorado should be suing John Ramsey for wasting a shit ton of tax dollars on a sham murder investigation instead of just admitting their son was sick and getting him help.

For experts not on Ramsey payroll, the leading theory regarding the male DNA is that it was transferred during the manufacturing process and is not at all related to her murder.

That settles it then.

Does Peter Thiel have beef with CBS?

Red tomato problem.

Well, more people voted for Clinton, they just were not in the right slave owning areas. More people do want progress, they just weren’t heard.

I don’t even want to know what kind of human being doesn’t think of David Bowie at least once a day.