Nah, they just have better taste than you.

You guys are better than this. Not consistently, but c'mon, man. I hope the clicks are worth it, Tim.

13-48 records don't lie much.

So?

It is good. It's not great. Five percentage points separate him and Vince Coleman. It is absolutely not about speed, but knowing when to steal. By SB%, the greatest base stealer in history is Chase Utley. A general rule of thumb in advanced stats is that you have to be stealing two bases successfully for every time…

Have you watched this team since Kobe went out for the season? They may not be as sad and depressed, they may play with joy and excitement, but they are functionally the NBA's equivalent of a rec league team. Or would be if the Knicks weren't a thing.

The memo about beating the Sharks again came through, though.

You are one of the most boring people I have ever encountered.

You're more amiably charming on TV, Nick Miller.

The Rams is the absolute worst in my mind. They were the first team to have helmet graphics! And those graphics were horns. So naturally, you redesign the helmet without the horns? No thank you!

Yeah, he's not wrong. It reminds me of MLB's infamous Turn Ahead the Clock disaster, and it comes from the same impulse: big logos are, like, extreme.

Yeah, and the author has this completely backwards. The push for changes on Kimba weren't coming from "Americans," it was from a Japanese organization called "The Group to Eliminate Discrimination Against Blacks".

How much does Gawker get paid to constantly advocate for Beyonce and alert us to the many injustices done to Beyonce? I hope it's a lot, man.

Because 3pt shooters can get streaky and out of sync. Klay Thompson hasn't hit 11 threes in a game recently, has he? Love's gone through some rough stretches and occasionally looks like he's ready to snap out of it, like he did yesterday. When he finds his spot, he's murder (he seems to prefer top of the key, but he…

Thank you for this. Sincerely. Best thing I've read all day. On the other hand, the fact that so many readers here have apparently missed the joke is...disturbing. Sometimes I like to play this little mind game called "Who wants to throw Jonathan Swift off a tall ledge?" before I write anything on the Internet.

Right. And Cleveland and Toledo can feel more eastern in some ways, probably because of the Slavic influence. It's a weird part of the country, anyway; I'm originally from California and I thought it was all one big Lumpistan out here before I moved here. But that's like saying Bakersfield and Santa Cruz are basically…

True, but even there you've got:

And then there's the Rust Belt and the Great Lakes Region, which overlap but are not the same. It is complicated. Not surprising, I guess, that you can't just take a 1000+-mile wide, 500+-mile tall swath of the country and assign identical attributes to everyone living inside your arbitrary borders.

Maybe this "Lakers are better without Kobe" talk isn't just all gas.