Full disclosure: I have many asian friends.

Just give it an all black interior and a stock ride height. perfect.

No, not intentionally, that’s true enough.

How do you know that’s not an area prone to speeding? Maybe the cop is just checking the average speed of a stretch of road (I’ve seen plenty of radar cops checking speed, but there was no second car pulling people over).

What the fuck are you even talking about?

Yeah, that’s different. (not that I agree with the forced/not-forced meth drinking)

Durability, and the trunk’s ability to swallow an entire drum set. Wouldn’t have believed it, but my wife used to drum, and her parent’s Crown Vic carried her drums (basic punk rock set, nothing crazy).

Yeah yeah, Outback whatever. Subaru just needs to bring back the wagon Forester, because I don’t want to buy the CUV version.

A sequitur?

Why would I regret not moisturizing my body? I use lotion on my hands as needed, but the rest of me is never too dry.

I wasn’t aware of that. I guess my family should stop using them...?

I’ve never heard that asking for money instead of gifts is tacky. My wife and I just put “Presentation Preferred” on the invitations. We were going to live in a small apartment and had no room for stuff anyways, so if we were going to get something, cash was much prefered. My grandma bought us a bread maker anyway of…

My dream car is a Forester (rock climber giving in to the stereotype ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), but I don’t think I could bring myself to buy this taller version (2009+). Next time you talk to Subaru, could you ask them to rerelease the wagon version? Please?

No, just the people in the car. Your family would be safe in the house and while blowing snow in the driveway.

Do you really want your $30,000, 306 horsepower track-ready JDM superhatch to look conservative?

Mullets and Beer > Physics and $$$

Old sleds are amazing. My uncle has a ‘76 (maybe?) Polaris TX 340, and the track has metal cleats. Lots of traction going forward, but your ass gets sideways in a second if you’re not careful. It’s ability to keep up with mid 90's 440s is pretty amazing, too. You feel like you’re going to die at any time, but it’s fun!

Also this. It’s horrible btw.

-At night, flip headlight switch to daytime running lights then pull e-brake up one click. You are now driving around in the dead of night with not a single bulb to illuminate your exterior or interior.

What’s wrong with eating horses?