Luckily the Navy has thought of that, and is implementing a cutting-edge strategy of “not throwing out everything else on the boat just because we got a laser”

Okay, here’s the situation
My parents went away on a week’s vacation
And they left the keys to the brand new Porsche
Would they mind? Umm, well, of course not
I’ll just take it for a little spin
And maybe show it off to a couple of friends
I’ll just cruise it around the neighborhood
Well, maybe I shouldn’t, yeah, of course I…

You'd be driving a butt-ugly Porsche, though. Not worth it.

An angry mother is the scariest thing in the world. I’d still rather have SWAT kick in my door than my mother and I’m a 34 year old man

The prison bus.

The short bus...

No, sadly probably not. Mom/Dad will come home and laugh and “chalk it up to a bad decision and a good learning experience”.

So what? No maple syrup for a month?

I’ve already told my son, There are very few things that will ever get him a beating as he gets older, taking out the car without permission is very high on that list.

No that honor still rests on the Panamera.

Somebody’s gonna get a beating.

It’s only a Cayenne...it’s not like it was a real Porsche or something.

He’s probably begging the police to not let him out of jail. He’s safer in there than outside with his mom.

Or like...an Audi interior, because they hired the guy from Audi.

-Department of Redundancy Department

Reminds me of a scene in King of the Hill where Boomhauer pulls up next to a guy at a light and they drag race. Turns out the other guy is a cop. “Son, you know why I pulled you over? Cuz you beat me.”

Ya got two options:

Orlove ain’t playing with these hoes.

Nassau County Police Department saw it and tracked Anderson back to his hoe in the Bronx

My high school history teacher did donuts in the parking lot before school started when it snowed. In his ford Ranger. He was an awesome teacher.