Jeez Markelle, just do the rehab, it will be ok.

Beverly Hills Cop 2, where Eddie Murphy’s Ferrari gets newer when it’s not moving.

It’s a prototype ejector/smusher seat. Q was stroppy because 007 shagged his daughter...

I like when a racing driver decides to floor it and downshift to pass their competitor — as if it wasn’t floored and in the optimal gear whenever possible anyway. I get that it’s hard to dramatically show someone braking slightly later than their competitor, but still.

Car jumps. Car lands. Car is destroyed in reality. Car drives off unscathed in movie.

Goddammit another misleading headline: totally thought this was going to be a Mr. Robot style hijack and am disappointed it’s just workaday folks doing good things for strangers. Borrrring!

He actually resigned several weeks ago, but he didn’t think he had to report it to the school.

When is the part where we find out a Buckeye football player allegedly murdered somebody? Three months?

“Pats are always thielen calls at home.”

“This is the day we have prepared for. Remember your training, do not get too close, keep the butter burgers coming and do not look him in the eye. May god have mercy on us all”

Still only the second worst McCarthy in Wisconsin history. 

I just love that this video is further proof that TMZ breaks more news than a lot of people would like to admit

I can absolutely, unequivocally state, in front of God and all of Deadspin, that I, an Eagles fan who has spent the last year reminding everyone, especially those who didn’t ask and ESPECIALLY friends and coworkers in Minnesota where I live, that I am an Eagles fan, deserve this. I DESERVE THIIIIIIIIS. Jesus H. Christ,…

You’ve heard of Twitter.

Eaux neaux

We’ll have 15 production bays there which means that as it takes us about one week to build a car we could build about 750 cars a year there. But wait we’re only allowed to build 325 cars a year as an approved NHTSA low volume manufacturer. Does that mean in let’s say three years we’ll have fully crash tested…

When you’re living rent free in the libs heads AND your mom’s basement

Rodgers gets to go home and add to his years-long list of reasons why he’d be justified in murdering his teammates and coaches.

What’s wrong with ordering vodka at 8am as opposed to 8pm? A “double” in airplane terms is also basically 1 “heavy pour” at a good bar, so if I’m on a flight that’s going to be over 3 hours I will probably want a few of those.