except replace old man with middle-aged woman

I’m pretty confident that if Bob Dylan saw Kim Kardashian’s Rolling Stone cover he’d somehow manage to find a way to continue his 50 year long streak of not giving a fuck about anyone or anything.

This is the type of situation I am talking about when I refuse to give road head. I do not want to die with a dick in my mouth.

The 3 year-old boy was standing on his chair, pants down around his ankles, peeing. Directly into a cup. Grandma is seated next to him holding said cup.

I need to print the one out about the three-year-old peeing into a cup and paste it all over the walls of the bathroom. If a three-year-old can pee in a cup, grown ass men can sure as shit pee without spraying all over the walls, floor, and (memorably) ceiling.

girl SAME.

That whooshing sound you just heard was Jim Carrey’s career hurtling by you as it plummets towards rock bottom.

It’s obvious that kid is bursting with toxins, catface. You’re probably a shill for Big Vaccine.

Just by making this comment you have given everyone in this thread toxins. Thanks :/

Don’t laugh at the stock photo of that child. My own daughter was recently diagnosed with shutterstock. She has watermarks all over her face and body, and she refuses to go outdoors.

You’re actually dead now and commenting from the ether. - Jim Carrey

I was vaccinated by a mohel 7 days after my bottle-feeding mother gave birth to me through c-section. How fucked am I, according to Jim Carrey?

Please let there be lawsuits.

I learned a new one recently - backpfeifengesicht - it basically means a face that needs to be punched, aka Robin Thicke.

This made my whole body curl up like a shrimp from contact embarrassment.

Paula Patton remains silent.

Place your bets now on Trump’s response: