As a man who can comfortably eat an entire large stuff crust pizza and a six pack I am convinced I could do this.

I would almost say no jail time for the hacking, but the bomb threat that brought down a commercial jet liner? Fuck that guy.

This whole shit show is worth watching Cuban get furious.

CP3 is wearing a CP3 shirt. That is almost as depressing as his facial expression.

Mettenberger has preemptively been put on the injured list.

Stop making it sound like he’s some talented artist. He says random shit and films himself playing video games. This is the pet rock situation and we are all just pissed we didn't get on the wagon first.

Higher pay for them would mean their club teams bringing in more revenue right? I know I see MLS games on cable every once and awhile but I can honestly say i’ve never seen anything to do with the women’s league on TV outside of every 4 years for the WC.

I hope they get voted down into oblivion. Tax payer funded stadiums need to fuck off and die. Can anyone show one fucking example where this worked out in favor of the tax payers ever?

We let Max walk, Verlander’s elbow is apparently made of cardboard now, and Cabrera goes down. This is a painful fucking season.

The time for retirement is about the same time you get bounced from the MLS

Everyone knew Kessel was going to get sent packing so it’s no surprise they couldn't get much in return

Seeing Splitter go without getting Aldridge would be painful. I hope this works out.

Deadspin’s reaction if they win the WWC:

I’m not sure which is a worse idea; putting them in Arizona in the first place or moving them to Nevada.

This is a pro sport? Suddenly I feel bad for making fun of curling.

Okay i’ll bite.

Who the fuck put that hat into production?

Says the fat fuck who types on a keyboard for a living.

Suck it underdogs!

Did anyone else read this as Patrick? No? Alright.