Oh, God, it’s a vaginal rat king!

Why is a young Mayim Bialik in the cover photo?

I work in a library, and for many years I also volunteered for my college’s annual book sale. It would not be an exaggeration to say that I have handled a million books in my lifetime. And after plowing through box after box after box of donations, you see so many bug-ridden, filthy, mouldy things: textbooks out of…

Well duh. But you should put it in the fridge. Mostly it’s now ICED COFFEE OH YEAH. However:

“If you do decide to finish your latte right before hitting the elevator to get out of the office, BuzzFeed suggests you microwave it to kill some (not all, unfortunately) the bacteria.”

If you haven’t, you should read How to Cook a Wolf

Huh. I drink day-old coffee that’s been sitting in my French press overnight on my kitchen counter. It’s fine.

I don’t know, Bundledink Crumblethatch seems like a decent guy. I feel like I always misspell his name though.

Spoilers! Just thought I'd put that out there before the people who haven't read or seen the four hundred year old play came for you.

As Jezebel’s official Cumberbitch, I approve this post. Dont be that person in the theater. I will hunt you down, and you will die a slow, painful death. Right there, in the theater, like all of Hamlet’s characters. Except for Horatio and Fortinbras, of course.

lol fuck off with this. there’s nothing wrong with having a nanny. there are shitty parents with nannies and shitty parents without nannies. this is malarkey.

Team Cat has no fucks to give about a sad dog story. They were mildly interested in the bit about bed as beds are good places to sleep, but that got boring so after a few seconds clawing something expensive, they went to sleep on the thing that shows up cat hairs the most.

My cats bite and claw me everyday. I deserve it because I’m alive.

Me and my friends used to dress up as the Italian army. We’d lose or give up or just plain wander off after 5 or 10 minutes and spend the afternoon kicking back.

My understanding of a lot of re-enactments is that you are assigned a ‘team’ and you get different assignments for the different times you participate. Keeps things fair and you don’t get branded a Nazi or a Confederate.

well to be fair if no one dressed as the Nazi’s it would be a pretty boring reinacment.

Interns are the best scapegoats though. They’re nameless, inexperienced, mostly unpaid workers who seem to exist in the world of politics to do most of the work and take the blame when shit goes wrong.

Disclaimer: most of my knowledge of US politics comes from TV shows and the internet

Let’s not forget that gay people should be legally prevented from getting married because it is such a sacred institution.

Eh, my kids’ social worker said she matched them to us “cause they look like your family”. No regard to whether their personality/problems would be adequate for us. Just “You look like bio family in pictures!”

More than once, the “relationship experts” said they paired these two up because of their attractiveness. Even after they began fighting, and he was immediately becoming incredibly vicious and ugly toward her during any confrontation, Dr. Pepper (yup, f’real) kept emphasizing her hope that they would work out because…

I mean...that’s more than a gripe at that point, no? Refusing to work together is some pretty straight up unprofessional shit. I mean, if I refused to work with anyone in this office who bugged the hell out of me it would just be me and the kid who gets lunch and even he’s on thin ice after the “Oatmeal Raisin cookie”…