Well, it was my first day of middle school and the bus ride in was harrowing. I was surrounded by 14-year-olds who cursed and threw things and were super cool in my 11-year-old mind. When we got to school, the bus driver told us we would be doing an emergency evacuation drill. I was sitting in the middle of the bus…

I have literally never had the urge to call someone’s work and scream at them, but . . . today’s been just that bad so I might give it a try.

I think what I would find most offensive is that I paid an extra $40 to read some asshole’s attempt at a “joke” at the expense of my screenplay. That said, the movie does sound kind of stupid.

Also, the guy who’s heading up Responsible Ohio is a real asshole. He’s used his employees of color to get government bids set aside for minority owned businesses and then had them subcontract the work to him. He’s not a good guy.

A portion of Goodfellas is told from a woman’s perspective. Lorraine Bracco has many voice-overs. She is literally telling the story from Karen’s perspective.

Ugh. This woman is an abomination. You know what people? It’s not that hard. Just keep your fucking mouth shut and open your goddamned ears. You might LEARN something ffs.

I opted out. My sister and brother-in-law were “witnesses”. My brother performed the ceremony. Everyone got to choose their own clothes. And my wedding was lovely, if I do say so myself.

You sound like my book-reading soulmate.

I screamed in a sea turtle’s face once, so I get it.

Thanks!

Sort of wedding tats. We wanted them done before the day.

I bet he ate it.

My husband once drank his soy sauce at a sushi restaurant because he was high and thought it was his soup. Just sayin'.

My dog growing up had one blue eye one brown eye! I used to tell people her blue eye was glass and she'd let them touch it. I'm really lucky she was a chill dog.

I know everybody thinks "I did it the right way." But I did it the right way. No bridal party. My sister and husband's brother were our witnesses. She planned my bachelorette, he gave a speech. Each and every one of my friends got an email about how much they mean to me and why I wasn't having a wedding party. There…

I have a couple.

Oh pandas . . . I really wish they could figure out sex.

"Heck, they're not even sure where they are on a lot of issues."

I was thinking the same thing. Some of this is a product of the social media generation, of which I count myself. In life I try not to be a self-entitled piece of shit. But sometimes I look at my own facebook page and think, "what a self-entitled piece of shit." We are all of us programmed to seek praise for being…

". . . if the phone doesn't ring,they will get pissed." You can say your phone is dead! My friend did this recently and I was so impressed. But then we started getting bummed about potentially pawning this guy off an innocent lady who might belong to the "made up" number. There's no winning.