Prediction: Bernie drops out February 12th after finishing 4th in both Iowa and New Hampshire.

I’ve known plenty of addicts in my time. Many if not all have relapsed from time to time. It’s part of the deal really. But there’s been a few, man oh man they just can’t shake it, when they relapse they relapse HARD. It’s like a tornado hits them. It’s a whole different kind of addiction really. And in both cases the…

Bernie can’t even run his own campaign correctly. Now you expect us to let him run the country?

Even more curious, Elizabeth Warren also went to the airport and joined the workers in protest, but somehow Splinter left her out of the headline. Wonder why?

Sanders truly is the friend of the workers. Unless he’s the one who’s paying them. They can go fuck themselves.

Lifetime Exec: (hits intercom) Yes?

Antoine Walker: Hold my beer.

The same guy who rode in on a camel when he threw himself a million dollar 30th birthday is now broke?

I once went through a tragic time. My wife left me. A day later both my parents died in a horrible jet-skiing accident. Right after being told this, my medical test results came back. I actually had TWO forms of cancer.

Saying that the massive inequalities in our society based on wealth explains Q is like saying because I don’t support Joe Biden’s candidacy, he is a green lizard alien on a mission to vaporize the Milky Way.

LGBT Self Loathing Night would be more appropriate really. After all, however they might identify, they are Mets fans too.

Republicans needed a sacrificial lamb who is willing to say whatever vile shit it takes to keep Omar in the news throughout the 2020 election. Will keep the base nice and riled up while the “establishment” can keep their distance and pretend to object to it. Mission accomplished.

On a scale of 1-10 of “Shitty things rich people do” this rates about a 1.5 for me.

Two hours max is food industry practice, and even that is pushing it. Bacteria grows fast. I’d toss chicken in half that.

One objection: You haven’t lived your life right if you haven’t woken up in the morning at least a few times still wearing your shoes.

I’m saying that ALL morning people are fascists.

“Context” friendships almost always fade, be it work, school, church, or in this case your kids. The sooner you recognize that the vast majority of adult friendships always will be temporary the happier you’ll be.

Better yet, if your sole source for political news is fucking Twitter, do everyone a favor and not vote.

Hitler woke up at 6am every day. Look it up.

They did. But the only reason it worked was because Franken’s actions allowed it too.