Look at that diversity up there! They finally hired a brunette!

As a side note, who knew that Tom Arnold would end up being the voice of reason?

So weird that Roseanne would be feeling such economic insecurity when her show was just picked up for a second season.

And a 55 gallon drum of personal lube

Didn’t someone mail boxes of dildos to the Bundy family compound in Nevada several years ago?

Angry middle-aged white man is not a new spokesman.

“Putin hired the dog to eat my taxes.”

We get it, Kanye doesn’t read books.

Seriously, only the American progressive left could get pissed off at Hilary Clinton acting like a professional to someone that might potentially have her former job.

There is, however, one high-profile Democrat who seems willing to have Pompeo serve as America’s top diplomat: Hillary Clinton, who has reportedlybeen consulting with Pompeo for his potential stint in the State Department. Cool!

He also used to be a Navy Seal.

I like how republicans will foam at the mouth about the thought of illegal immigration, because they’re not racist, you see, they just care about laws. We’re a nation of laws! We just don’t like people breaking the laws! Shoot them or treat them like shit, they deserve it for breaking laws! Same thing with cops…

“Next season on Law and Order: SVU...”

As someone who has never cared for Gervais, I feel so very vindicated right now. Now if somebody could point me to some articles about Chris Brown and Shia LaBeouf, I have some more way-after-the-fact gloating to do.

This has shocked me, but I don’t hold it against Donald, he was a great lover and I think he’s a great president.”

I know far too much about Trump’s sex life. Far. Too. Much.

Isn’t the purpose of the taint team to address this exact issue?

You couldn’t pay me enough to hang out with most of these douchebags.

With all due respect to Colbert, whom I adore, fuck that noise. Trump is a criminal and a Russian stooge and every day he remains in office he’s doing irreparable harm here and abroad. Considering just the judiciary alone his appointments will affect us for decades to come. Considering just Syria alone his foreign…

I didn’t think it was possible for you guys to figure out how to make embedding Tweets into stories any worse, but here we are. Someone needs to change (or remove) the column height for embedded objects.