I base my musical choices on what I think sounds good, not what might end up getting me laid.

Ant-Man sounds like the stupidest damn thing imaginable.

Saw this last night, it was hilarious. The crowd ate it up too. Better than the first, and I am comfortable saying that even after seeing the first one probably 5 times.

I mean, I never graduated from high school.

Sometimes the source material isn't nearly as good as the movie/TV show. This notion that the book is automatically the best version of any piece of entertainment is just propagated by fake intellectuals who think people are impressed by the fact that they read a book once.

Kevin isn't making life hell for the guys because they are lower class poors, he's defending his home from burglars who want to steal shit and probably hurt him!

You're reaching dude. The story is about way more than that. Shit, half the movie is about Kevin realizing how much he actually misses his family, and how he took them for granted. It's not some grand statement about class in America. It's dudes getting injured in hilarious ways, something America couldn't get enough…

Because it's almost 2 hours (might be more, I turned it off after about 70 minutes) of nonsense about impossible windows, and crackpot theories that are so ridiculous and inane, even Alex Jones would roll his eyes at them. If I made a documentary that was 2 hours of people saying Jingle All The Way is really about the…

Room 237 is garbage. Flat out garbage.

The Last of Us plays like a mediocre Xbox Splinter Cell game. But since it has a story that's good by video game standards (mediocre by any other form of media's standards), people fawn all over it. Same thing happened last year with The Walking Dead, a game that was nothing but glorified quick time events.

Why do people buy a new iPad every year when the only improvement is how nice the screen is?

If you had or have trouble finding stuff with the PS3's UI, then you are, quite frankly, an idiot.

Dude…you need some new hobbies. Collect baseball cards. Go outside. Something.

So…we're all in agreement that GG Allin had no talent at all, and the only reason anyone ever paid any attention to him was because of his shit eating grin, right?

This is my favorite Simpsons episode of all time. I have nothing more to say. Thank you for your time.

This was another Modern Simpsons episode that makes me remember why I only watch 3 or 4 of these a year.

Nobody has ever watched a pro football game for the chance to see clothed cheerleader titties for maybe 15 seconds.

Football is not 10 times worse. You're being ridiculous.

Isn't this just another self fellating "Look how good my musical tastes are" article, in disguise as an article about 1993 music in general?

Good evening. Here's an update on last week's nursing home expose, "Geezers in
Freezers." It turns out the rest home was adequately heated; the footage you saw was of a fur-storage facility. We've also been told to apologize for using the term "geezer." Now, coming up next, the case of the cantankerous old geezer!