No, he really didn’t.

Thernos’ money was not her money. Theranos was backed by a veritable who’s who of rich idiots and venture capital firms that thought they were investing in revolutionary technology.

Her defense: it was a business deal gone bad, which happens all the time. We never intentionally lied or misled anyone. We sincerely believed the science existed to achieve this technology, and as long as we believed it, we can't be accused of intentional fraud.

I honestly don’t know what this woman thinks her endgame is going to be. What exactly is her defense? Your product literally never existed. I realize she’s weaseled her way out of tough jams before, but seriously, take a plea. This can’t end well. 

ding ding ding.

Where is all that money now

If she’s married to a hotel heir, can’t he pay for it and why isn’t he considering he married her!! Also, she can clearly pay for a blowout, where is she hiding her money.

And yet Boris Johnson remains disappointingly unslapped.

“the Queen lightly slapped him across the face”

“I’m not a doctor or a psychiatrist but I’ve spoken with Natalia and I believe her. If you’re asking me if I think she is 30, that’s ridiculous.”

Wait, is this a thing? I once had a 15-year-old boy in my summer school class who made me feel uneasy for some reason I couldn’t put my finger on, and he turned out to be a 22-year-old Ukrainian national who’d overstayed his visa and was paying some family to “adopt” him. He’s now in prison on a bunch of charges.

The strangest thing about this whole sordid tale is WHY - with all the financial resources available to them - would they pay for the SAT fix? Really? How about some fancy dancy tutoring? How about offering to donate to the college like every other rich-a-doodle family? OR how about just letting your kids earn their…

Your first point is chilling and I don’t know how it didn’t even occur to me.

These drills are just a fact of life in schools now, the way recess or lunchtime or math class is. The two things I keep thinking about in regard to that:

I was picturing:

I have a friend who regularly saves drunk weekend tubers after they’ve floated downstream and into the Arizona desert. One girl told him she thought the river just circled around and you’d float back to your original spot. You can’t make this stuff up.

I’ve seen pictures of Spring Break at Havasu, on the Colorado River etc. - this would be a perfect bro-friendly addition to that floating clusterfuck.

“He wasn’t rich in love or in friends but he was rich enough in cash to buy this overpriced, floating deathtrap.”

I hear the patent owner Al E. Gator couldn’t be reached for comment, but could be seen in an oversized fedora, trench coat, and what looked like green boots. 

“He died like he lived: drifting aimlessly wherever the current took him.”