4 to 5 sexual partners and 2 to 3 committed relationships by age 27 is literally me. I feel good about it. Sounds like Average Anna and I would be good friends! 

My important takeaway from Average Anna was that her husband needed to contribute more around the house, and stop taking her for granted. Maybe if he would talk at the dinner table instead of playing with his phone, she wouldn’t be so likely to have an affair, I’m just saying.

Also, apparently, one in five average Annas have a “serious” porn addiction...so on average, one in five women has a serious porn addiction (because Anna is average, after all). I guess it’s all in the definition of “serious” and “addiction”.

The implied causation presented with those statistics makes me want to gouge my eyeballs out. Maybe her failed committed relationships taught her valuable life lessons that contributed to the success of her marriage. Maybe her abortion allowed her to finish college and achieve her dreams.

It sounds like Average Anna has a pretty good time until she gets married and has kids.  That was obviously her mistake.

That was my first thought, too regarding “alive girl”.

“I’m very glad you have a pulse” 

“I love you, alive girl.”

So I’m 22......just got out of my first serious relationship and I’m all about hitting the bar scene and hitting on some dudes! So my New Years Resolution for that year (which still lives in infamy in my family) is to wink more. You know like when you see some hot dude and he makes eye contact and you just wink at…

To quit smoking. I still need to do this. I did it once, when i was 30 for six months, but not as a new years resolution, more for a guy, and then he broke my heart and i started smoking again because I wanted to have quit for myself, not him. But before I got around to quitting again my sister died, and then my dog…

Yes.  I think they can remove “possible” from this article.  And how did this facility not know she was pregnant?  I assume she stopped menstruating, at least, which should have been some giveaway.  And persons in these states, I believe, generally suffer from muscle atrophy and are not normally grossly overweight, so…

My mind went to that Law & Order episode where it turned out that the vegetative woman’s mother paid a staff member to rape and impregnate her because the mother wanted to be a grandmother so bad.  

Yes. Put the facility into lockdown right away and DNA test the men. As well, per Kill Bill, start looking into friends/acquaintances of staffers. They should be able to catch the culprit pretty quick. 

My mind went here:

That’s exactly what I thought! If she can’t say “I’m pregnant” to the staff caring for her, then she can’t consent! There’s no tip toe around this one, and I hope they DNA test the staff so they can prosecute that fucker (unless it was a visitor).

YES.

Oh my god. This immediately brought to mind the scene in Kill Bill where the hospital attendant had been assaulting her while she was in her coma and just jesus fucking christ. This poor woman.

Take the 3 advil (with a very large glass of water) before you go to bed, not after you get out of it. (Or also when you get out of it, if you still need it.)