I feel as though 145k is not nearly enough. It’s a paltry sum for hawking bullshit. In fact, one might even call it Paltr-ow-y.

When your plan to MAGA involves you leaving the country.

When America sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing crime, they’re bringing drugs, they’re Roseanne...

America really has to stop sending our outdated war engines overseas.

You know, I’m a lib, and I feel pretty owned right now, but it has nothing to do with the owners at all. Rosanne, Alex Jones, Tucker Carlson and all their deplorable children can take the weekend off.

“Grande” IS Spanish; it means “big”. It is also Italian; it means “big”. If you need any help with “Si” and “No”, just ask...

I got no guilt for slurring the creeper with his hand on an unconsenting woman’s breast. Purple is the traditional color for celebratory vestments, but this turd went with red (to celebrate himself) and the chain is as extra as the super sized cuffs on the shirt. I think his style choices and groping are gross.

Only thing you have to worry about is paunch at your age.*

He is probably used to getting away with behaving like that because of his role within his church. People probably don’t DARE question his behavior. She is young and attractive, and much smaller than he is physically - he thought he had a right to put hands on her.

Come on, telling someone their name sounds like a menu item is NEVER acceptable; specifying “a Taco Bell menu item” is racist af whether you’re referring to someone who is latinx or not.

“Maybe I crossed the border” You don’t say! Seriously, this is a bad apology.

“This story is stranger, and sadder, than it initially appears.”

Sounds like someone Witch Hunt! is a Victim of the FAKE NEWS bias, anonymous Sources are Disgraceful! Illegal? To not read Presidents tweets? KEEP @TUCKERCARLSON GREAT AGAIN! Emails?

You know who else had their citizenship stripped? Hint: six million of them were killed.

In the same way that I can’t stand Trump’s voice and mannerisms so much that I wait for transcripts, I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t handle reading his tweets and just wait for someone to tell me about the latest stupid shit he spouted. I’ve never hated someone so much in my life.

He’s not used to seeing the swinging past his gut. Or tiny hands for that matter.

My first thought was Mr. V.P. (Mister cause I am super respectful) if we lived in more respectful times: 

Hey, Pence.

The only positive thing here is that Mexico agreed to completely denuclearize.

He said he likes to use it to show emotion.  He has also said that he knows the Rules of Capital Letters, but he ignores the rules to show how much he means what he’s saying.  If he were more intellectual, he’d rely on vocabulary.  But we all know that he’s a Fucking Moron, so this Utter Crap is what we get!!!1