this seems as good a time as any for one of my favorite onion videos:http://www.theonion.com/video/how-to-g…

i'm pretty sure "too much content and not enough filter" has been the subtitle to everything wurtzel's ever written.

aw, i miss hortense.

very pleased with my slutty, tattooed self for preemptively disqualifying myself from this prize's affections.

well... since alex jones is one of our home grown nuts, we've got bigger problems.

It's the same in my Irish family. All of my male relatives are tommy, sean, michael, and jimmy. There's some variation for the girls, but the boys on both sides all get one of those four without fail.

he's the first thing i thought of.

i haven't watched the last 2 seasons, but before that i remember thinking she always looked like a perfect, british, my-size (or in this case, "two heads taller than me") barbie.

seriously. i didn't think it was possible for cat deely to ever look short of perfect. she could wear the shit out of a potato sack, so how is this dress so damn hideous?

i looked it up as soon as i saw her dress!! it was perfume pretty barbie from '87. you could take the ruffle of her shoulders and wear it as as a scrunchie.

it's been 19 for me! i looked online for a copy of it today. i'm going to see if i can dust off my latin skills.

i liked neighbor flavia because i was a blonde. have you ever read the lake of dead languages? my best friend (the classics major) loaned it to me. it's not the best book ever written, but it is a page turner, and fun if you're a fellow latin nerd.http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1202…

ecce romani?

i'd be a lifetime fan if she gave an answer that was that honest and self-aware.

sometimes i think i'm the only person in the world who truly loves shower sex. the day i find a man with the same level of enthusiasm, i will ensnare him FOR LIFE.

ben stiller, you screwed up lelaina's tv show once before. when will you learn?

I'm sorry, i had to stop at the boyfriend who insisted line to come here and shout about the "gentleman" who went out with two weeks ago.

truly, i love you.

i was super obsessed with hellen keller and georgia o'keefe.