My son was into this show when he was little (he was born right around the time it first aired) and now my other child is ambivalent towards it.

...I want to see someone make a Demolition Man mod. It would inspire joy-joy feelings to get to run around as Simon Phoenix.

Guys who read Maxim don’t want “progressive?”

My available reading time is short enough without forcing myself to establish Mandatory Diversity Quotas.

Frankly I’m a little surprised they didn’t decide to completely screw Oculus by holding a press conference where they announce the price as $100 or $200 cheaper.

Of course people would be whining about the price tag. I think what he means, though, is that the huge initial “holy shit, that’s FAR too expensive!” outburst would have happened weeks back and not on preorder launch day. You’d still have a hefty group of grumblers, but THIS article would have been written weeks back…

That’s what he’s saying, that there would be fewer available drivers. Uber drivers don’t drive people around out of human kindness, they’re expecting to be adequately compensated for their time.

*sniff* Yes, of course! But only the truly wretchedly poor would buy that cheap-ass, garbage AccuForce model. Complaining about the price of the Oculus Rift? How...plebeian.

$600? Back away, not today, VR lady.

I misread the headline. Completely ignored the word “North” and read “Kotex Says It Has Detonated Its First Hydrogen Bomb.”

All the Hillary candidates only give a shit about one specific woman, so you’re no better off there.

What, in this rather limp set of EOs, would generate conservative tears?

“Ma’am, we’ve traced the call. THE PANDA IS IN YOUR HOUSE.”

I see a lot of “priors” in there. Might I ask how long the prior program director was in that position?

The title on the cover of the game says otherwise.

Your wisdom, in selecting October as the finest of birthday months, is undeniable. If I wore a fedora, I’d tip it to you.

Nothing, because PATRIARCHY! Mua ha haa.

Knowing how to spell it is nice. I’m not a fan of “creative” spellings. “Oh, no, you don’t spell it j-a-n-e, it’s spelled Ripple Rum Raisin but pronounced ‘Juh-ay-nuh-eee.’ Yes, with four syllables. Only stupid people who don’t stop to THINK for a second would try to spell it the old way. I’m such a free spirit!!!”

No way. Rigged voting. Bear of the Year is the bear that got to “assault” DiCaprio.

I’m sure your son will be thrilled to receive the 2016 Wooden Stick for Winter Celebration Day.