Did your dad survive prostate cancer? Mine didn't. Yesterday would have been his 78th birthday.

And yet my book "Smash The Patriarchy Into 150 Types Of Guacamole" hasn't even gotten optioned. Hah-RUMPH.

Wow, that reminds me of my upcoming book 900 Dirty Socks Picked Up Off The Floor and Dining Room Chairs Are You Kidding Me Why Are They On The Chair That Is Gross, Kevin.

I'd probably make her head explode. I'm an atheist who celebrates the FUCK outta Christmas. I LOVE it. Just not the, you know, religious aspects. But peace on earth, goodwill toward men? That's a notion I can totally get behind.

OMG remember 2008 #neverforget

This is true of MAs for sure, but if your PhD isn't funded, you shouldn't even be considering that program.

Not to rain on anyone's parade, but there are not even words for how much I hate this. On every possible level. Also, can we just stop having suburban white people rap as a joke please? Pretty please? With a seriously, stop it, it is 0% funny on top?

I'm a 4-6 and this is the closest representation I've seen of my "body type" in a fashion setting EVER.

Whether or not this is "plus sized," I can tell you one thing: I actually feel really, really good about my body after seeing these pictures. I pretty much look like this (albeit shorter) — right down to the little back roll.

I'm not advocating it, but I've heard that the most powerful control tool is actually guilt. With spanking, yelling, etc, you teach them to not do that specific behavior, that time. Whereas with guilt, you teach them to feel badly about any potential action, and the motivation actually comes from the self - they…

One of my colleagues is dressed as an Oxford comma today. Come on up/over to Canada. Your people are here.

;) I do neither super sexy or super clever. I just let my geeky flag fly free. Hah.
Yesterday at work I was the TARDIS and today I'm Pikachu. Haha.

Halloween is a big deal in my house. As soon as Halloween ends, I start planning costumes for the next one. And since I can't sew, it takes a year for me to make them anyway; lots of trial and error. This morning, my 6-year-old was sketching ideas for next year. This is serious business! She also wondered why she…

When people tell me they're "just not that in to" Halloween, all I hear is static. Does not compute.

Halloween is a superior holiday. People who don't enjoy Halloween are typically people I do not understand.

My wife had a miscarriage, and it was a horrible, horrible experience for us to endure. The baby was hardly full term, and she didn't deliver it, but still...that whole experience has taught me a life lesson, which is this: it is traumatic and painful as fuck to lose a child, and basically you should NEVER EVER judge…

I had a stillborn baby and my photos are all I have left of her. People grieve in different ways. I have nothing left except her ashes and photos, so I cling to them. I do not, however, post them on the internet.

There are photographers who donate their time to take portraits of deceased infants through a program called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. For these families, the pictures of their dead child are the only kind they'll ever have. I can't find fault with picture-taking at a baby's funeral.

That will lit-rally never happen.

I'm going to pretend this is the world's largest en masse lesbian wedding, and you can't stop me.